Wednesday Jokes: November 18th

Wilson sporting goods introduced the Staff Model R, the first golf ball without a coat of paint. They say removing paint will allow weekend golfers to hit the ball farther and straighter into the water.

The world’s lone remaining white giraffe was outfitted with a GPS tracker to protect it from poachers. The giraffe said the GPS is great, but he’d probably feel safer with a gun of his own.

Lena Dunham opened up about her difficulty having biological children due to endometriosis, drug abuse, and potential male sex partners getting to know her.

Khloe Kardashian won the People’s Choice Award for Best Reality TV Star, edging out four other nominees sitting on her couch.

The Boeing 737 MAX has been cleared to fly after a two-year ban. FAA Administrator Steve Dickson said “I’m 100 percent comfortable with my family flying on it…especially my mother-in-law.”

Fortnite is getting in-game video chat, to the delight of gamers who like to play battle-royale games while watching men masturbate.

Harvey Weinstein is reportedly being treated for a high fever and a possible COVID-19 infection in prison. If his condition worsens, he may be placed on a ventilator connected to the exhaust pipe of a garbage truck.

Two men in Queens, New York – Jie Zou and Jonathan Zhang – were arrested on assault charges for a street brawl over a parking spot, ending in a car being driven through the front of a bakery. The fight is now being made into a Jackie Chan movie.

A Medieval soldier’s remains were found next to swords and knives at the bottom of a lake in Lithuania. Researchers concluded he probably lost his battle, and also had a hard time swimming holding swords and knives.

A Wisconsin police officer who’s killed three civilians in the last five years is resigning from the force, for failing to meet his quota.

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