Tuesday Jokes: November 17th

National Geographic posted its top travel destinations for 2021, including Costa Rica and Faroe Islands. They succeed 2020’s top travel desinations, The Mailbox and The Grocery Store.

Music mogul Scooter Braun sold Taylor Swift’s master recordings for over $300 million. In other transactions, Lou Bega sold his master recordings to buy a scooter.

Trump lawyer Rudy Giuliani said that losing post-election lawsuits is ‘part of their plan’ to get them appealed and heard by the Supreme Court. New York Jets Coach Adam Gase said his team’ 0-9 start is ‘part of their plan’ to get to the 2028 Super Bowl.

A Baby Yoda doll arrived on the International Space Station along with the NASA crew arriving via SpaceX. The doll will be flushed down the newly-installed space toilet to see how well it works.

A European Vega rocket failed at launch, destroying a communications satellite on board. The team’s leader blamed the accident on their choosing a 1974 Chevy Vega.

Amazon launched its online pharmacy on Tuesday. Customers can expect to have painkillers swiped off their porch on Thursday.

17 guests at a 300-person ‘superspreader wedding’ in Washington state contracted COVID-19. The bride and groom defended the party, saying they skipped champagne and filled guests’ glasses with Listerine and Remdesivir.

Several stores like Bass Pro Shops will still have in-store Santas, only kids will have to stand six feet away and yell to Santa that they want video games, bikes, and for Mom & Dad to stop fighting.

Ulysses ‘The Monster’ Diaz knocked out Donelei Benedetto in 3 seconds to record the fastest finish ever in a Bare Knuckle Fighting Championship bout. Diaz announced his next fight will be when Walmart opens on Black Friday.

Iowa Governor Kim Reynolds issued a mask mandate for all Iowans over age 2, along with a new slogan for the program, ‘Cover Your Cornhole’.

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