Thursday Jokes: December 16th

Viral video shows an armless man in a motorized wheelchair pointing a gun held with his foot at a jewelry store clerk during a robbery. The perpetrator made off with several Rolex anklewatches.

Bruce Springsteen reportedly sold his music catalog to Sony for $500 million: roughly $499,999,990 for songs prior to 1990, and the rest for everything after.

The NFL Jacksonville Jaguars fired head coach Urban Meyer after less than one year on the job. He’ll be replaced on an interim basis by Rural Meyer.

After two seasons, Disney+ cancelled ‘Diary Of A Future President‘ about a Cuban-American teen girl who grows up to become President of the United States. The creator is sad they didn’t make Season 3, where she teams up with Ivanka Trump to overthrow the government and become President.

Feral hogs have overrun a Southeast Texas county, roaming in packs of dozens and wrecking property in their path. Perhaps worst of all, they’re cutting the lines at the Chick-fil-A drive thrus.

90-Day Fiance star Stephanie Matto claims she’s made $100,000 selling her farts in jars. She claims she ate so many fiber bars to generate flatulence that she almost landed in the hospital – delaying a large shipment to Mar A Lago.

Ben Affleck said he abused alcohol while married to Jennifer Garner because he felt trapped, and that if they were married he’d still be drinking. Affleck said he’d sleep on the couch and drink scotch – 13 ounces, going on 30.

Hilaria Baldwin posted the family’s “perfectly imperfect” Instagram holiday card – calling it that because they only took one shot.

AT&T will comply with the January 6th Committee’s subpeona for phone records of members of Congress. Boost Mobile has yet to respond after Lauren Boebert, Marjorie Taylor-Greene, Jim Jordan & others switched on January 7th.

McDonald’s reclaimed $105 million paid to former CEO Steve Easterbrook as severance, after proving Easterbrook lied about three inappropriate sexual relationships with employees, known only as Red R, Black H, and Purple G.

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