Thursday Jokes: February 10th

The New York Times reporter Maggie Haberman claims in her new book about Donald Trump that White House staff would occasionally find documents Trump had flushed down the toilet. Most were birthday & Fathers Day cards from Eric & Don Jr.

Kim Kardashian told Vogue that her divorce is about making herself happy, adding that her 40s are about ‘Team Me’.. meaning herself, and Team Me’s 100 makeup, wardrobe and photo artists.

A Los Angeles woman died after falling from the third floor of a parking garage during a lesson for riding her new motorcycle. A family spokesperson said they may take legal action against Kneivel Driving Instructors.

A 70-year-old Italian woman was found dead at her kitchen table, still sitting in the same place where she died an estimated two years earlier. First responders said the pasta was really overcooked.

A Frontier Airlines passenger had to be restrained after falsely claiming a passenger in the row behind him was sticking him with a needle to steal his DNA. A Frontier flight attendant told him that wasn’t possible, because needles aren’t given out until drink service starts.

A Republican candidate for Oregon governor admitted he & his wife were formerly in a partner-swapping Facebook group, making Oregon a swing state.

The Biden Administration is earmarking $5 billion to install electric vehicle chargers at interstate highway rest stops – so drivers can hook up their cars to charge at the same places down-low gay men hook up with each other.

United Kingdom archaeologists found a Roman-era graveyard containing dozens of decapitated skeletons with skulls placed between their legs, in what they’re calling Europe’s first Halloween Spirit pop-up location.

Sportscaster Erin Andrews shared her favorite Tom Brady moment, when the QB threw passes with Andrews’ father at a Montana ranch, and asked Erin to “shag balls” – a duty usually reserved for Gisele Bundchen.

Scientists discovered a new planet orbiting Proxima Centauri, the nearest star to the Sun. Even more amazing is they found it with Zillow.

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