Wednesday Jokes: July 13th

Some North Carolina Little League baseball teams pulled out of the state championship tournament after gunshots were fired during a weekend game. One baserunner was picked off at first base.

The UK’s largest grocer, Tesco, stopped selling Heinz baked beans in a dispute over rising prices. The UK air quality index surged to its highest level in decades.

Lebron James criticized efforts to free WNBA star Britney Griner from a Russian prison. James thinks that Griner should just call a press conference to announce which city she’ll be taking her talents to.

Twitter is suing Elon Musk to force him to follow through on buying the company, utilizing a “you & 229 million other dopes broke it, you bought it” strategy.

MTV suddenly halted production on its new-cast reboot of ‘Jersey Shore’ in Atlantic City. No word was given on why, but it’s rumored that MTV discovered most of the new cast are college-educated, have jobs and are sober.

WalletHub released their list of the Most Stressed Cities in the U.S. Cleveland topped the Most Stressed list – leading new Cleveland Browns QB Deshaun Watson to say that’s why he needs so many stress-relieving massages.

Millions of student loan borrowers were notified that their debt was transferred from Navient to new company Aidvantage. Aidvantage looks forward to never receiving their payments.

A lawyer on Tik Tok claims retail stores are using surveillance footage from self-checkout counters to frame customers for stealing. She specifically cites voice prompts that say “scan item”, then “place the item in your purse”.

Bradley Cooper is reportedly dating Hillary Clinton’s former assistant Huma Abedin. Abedin is the ex-wife of disgraced former Congressman Anthony Weiner, and is now the steady date of much-admired Hollywood Weiner.

Newly released video of the Uvalde school shooting shows an armed local police officer staring at his phone with a ‘Punisher’ lock screen, while inside the school, doing nothing. He later unlocks the phone and tops his personal record in Candy Crush.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s