Tuesday Jokes: July 26th

A woman at Dallas Love Field airport fired gunshots into the air after entering near the Southwest Airlines ticket counter. A Southwest spokesperson said she’s been moved from boarding group A to group C.

Ice cream maker Klondike announced they’re discontinuing the Choco Taco after 40 years. Instead of asking people what they’d do for the Klondike bar, the company said there’s nothing anyone can do.

The Weather Channel apologized for an on-air graphic reading ‘Hello Des Moines. This is your weather my N**gers”. The Weather Channel said the message was intended to read “Hello Los Angeles…”

Viral video shows a man in Zhejiang province, China, catching a 3-year-old who’d fallen out of a 6th floor window. The child was a girl, so the parents told the man he could keep her.

A 73-year-old woman was airlifted to a Florida hospital after being stabbed in the groin by a 100-pound sailfish that was being reeled on to her boat. The sailfish wasn’t exactly thrilled by its decision either.

A 46-year-old man masturbating to a sunbathing woman at a nude beach in Lyon, France was shot dead by another nudist. The shooter was arrested, and treated for burns after trying to hide the weapon.

Florida rapper Rollie Bands was gunned down outside of his Tampa apartment, minutes after daring critics to confront him in an Instagram post. Cops are investigating who owns a gun and unfollowed Rollie Bands.

A new study claims great white sharks may change color while hunting prey. A different study said no, those are blood stains.

A dermatology professor at Stanford University explains while many of our faces are puffy in the morning – being repeatedly punched in them by spouses to stop the snoring.

Ghislaine Maxwell was transferred to a minimum security Florida prison to begin serving her 15-year sentence. She can be visited by up to four adults and eight kids at one time – so she can quickly see whose massage technique the warden likes best.

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