CNN declined an invitation to the White House Christmas Party this Friday, citing the President’s continued attacks on freedom of the press. The party is seen as a time for reporters to mingle with administration officials, and to hear carolers sing some of the President’s seasonal favorites like “White Christmas” and “Blood and Soil”.

Melania Trump also declined an invitation to the White House Christmas Party, saying she has a thing she booked over a year ago.

A New Hampshire doctor who refuses to use a computer lost her medical license, but continues to practice because she never got the email.

Victoria became the first Australian state to legalize euthanasia. Soon, terminally ill patients will be able to box a kangaroo to their death.

Bitcoin topped $11,000 for the first time, leading confused, cash-strapped seniors to turn the pockets of their church pants inside-out looking for one.

Matt Lauer was fired by NBC News after a report of sexual misconduct at the Sochi Winter Olympics. The news was reported by NBC’s Brian Williams, who filed a story that he witnessed the alleged misconduct, rescued the woman and then won a gold medal in men’s alpine ski jumping.

The United Kingdom will allow over-the-counter Viagra sales starting in the spring. The move is expected to create hundreds of new jobs as middle-aged men pay teenagers to go buy Viagra for them.

Marvel Studios released a new trailer for Avengers: Infinity War — depicting Iron Man, Hulk, Black Panther, Captain America, Black Widow and about 20 other Marvel heroes checking their watches 90 minutes into Justice League.

ESPN is laying off 150 more employees, none of whom are Rex Ryan or Randy Moss. Come on, man!

92-year-old actress Angela Lansbury stirred controversy when she said that women must sometimes “take the blame” for men’s sexual harassment. Many reacted in disbelief that Lansbury was actually pretty hot-looking 70 years ago.