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Pearl Jam announced a brief tour of summer dates, with “fairly priced tickets” for fans. In turn, Ticketmaster announced limited-time Pearl Jam “unfairly bloated fees, even for us”.

Buzz Feed News will shut down. This will result in zero actual journalists losing jobs, plus you’ll no longer be able to take a quiz to discover which character of ‘Stranger Things‘ you’re most like.

Twitter began purging blue verification check marks from celebrities and brands who refuse to pay the $8/month fee. Social media sleuths are now on the case trying to decide which of 744 Twitter accounts is the real Corey Feldman.

Manslaughter charges were dropped against Alec Baldwin stemming from the on-set death of a cinematographer on the film ‘Rust’. The film will resume shooting in Montana, with Baldwin handling a selfie stick holding an iPhone in a bulletproof case.

A Russian woman living in New York was sentenced to 21 years in prison for attempting to kill a female friend with poisoned cheesecake to steal her identity. The friend survived, but is guilty herself about eating two slices of cheesecake.

A Colorado school bus driver is charged with 30 counts of child abuse for slamming on the bus brakes to teach young passengers the importance of staying seated. He also faces lesser charges of eating their snacks that skidded to the front of the bus.

An ultramarathon runner was disqualified and stripped of her 3rd-place finish after it was determined she rode in a car for part of the route. She was kicked out of the car when the guy driving it got tired of her fiddling with the temperature.

Barbara Walters’ Upper East Side New York apartment is up for sale for $19.75 million. It includes two spacious bedrooms, a Central Park view, and Joy Behar.

‘Because I Got High‘ rapper Afroman announced he’s running for President in 2024 as an Independent. He’s expected to take on incumbent Senileman, and GOP nominee Obese-HairplugMan.

A bear broke into a car in British Columbia and drank 69 cans of soda. The bear mostly drank Orange Crush, but appeared to stop when it tasted diet soda, because it doesn’t want cancer.

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Kevin Spacey, co-star of the summer smash film Baby Driver, has not been offered a role in the sequel, Teen Driver.

Giant 24-inch footprints of a 200-million-year-old carnivorous dinosaur have been discovered in Southern Africa. No fossils have been found, but archaeologists know the creature is really old because the footprints have a ‘Skechers’ logo in them.

Selena Gomez broke up with her boyfriend of 10 months, telling close friends she was taking The Weekend off.

A 27 year old Japanese man has been arrested after Tokyo police found as many as nine bodies in coolers in his apartment. He was taken into custody and stripped of his sushi license.

The 10-year-old daughter of an Apple engineer claims her father was fired because she released a YouTube video showing off the iPhone X prior to its formal release.  The video is generally positive, but opens with several minutes of the phone failing to recognize her face and asking for hints.

Actress Ariane Bellamar has accused Jeremy Piven of sexual assault on the set of ‘Entourage‘, surprising Hollywood insiders who felt that the biggest crime involving Entourage was making it into a movie.

White House Chief of Staff John Kelly said that the Civil War was caused by a “lack of ability to compromise” and, based on his knowledge of history, Union soldiers kneeling in protest when Confederate soldiers played ‘Dixie’ prior to battles.

Under Armour stock tumbled after releasing lower-than-expected earnings and a reduced 4th quarter sales forecast. Responding to rumored supply chain issues, Under Armour CEO dismissed them, saying the company has a steady supply of basketball players who want ugly shoes.

Japanese news organizations are reporting fatalities in the collapse of a tunnel at a North Korean nuclear missile site. President Trump placed a call to ISIS asking for advice on how to take credit for something terrible that you had nothing to do with.

Corey Feldman is trying to crowdfund $10 million on indiegogo to produce a film that will name the names of dangerous Hollywood pedophiles. So far he’s raised only 2%, or $169,000, and may just name the names in a bonus commentary track of a Blu-ray re-release of Meatballs 4.