By |

Special Counsel Jack Smith obtained a search warrant for Donald Trump’s Twitter account. No word on discovery of incriminating evidence, but he sure did DM the cast of ‘Jersey Shore’ quite a bit.

Security workers at Los Angeles SoFi Stadium are reportedly accepting $60-100 dollar bribes to let people without tickets in to Taylor Swift concerts. Then, once inside, they can buy $200 sweatshirts.

The Mayor of Tampa found bags of cocaine floating in the ocean while on vacation. Now she’s Mayor of Bogota, Colombia.

The Emmy Awards were postponed from September, 2023 to Martin Luther King Jr. Day in January, 2024. Actors will need to decide between the festive black-tie gala or the volunteer work they’d scheduled for that day.

The final season of Disney Channel’s High School Musical: The Musical: The Series reveals that original sweethearts Troy & Gabriella are now in couples therapy 15 years later. Oddly, the therapy is with their guidance counselors.

A white mother is suing Southwest Airlines over a crew inquring that she may be trafficking her biracial daughter. The woman states if she were a real human trafficker, she’d have flown Spirit Airlines for the deep-discount rates they offer to those in the industry.

Philadelphia Phillies pitcher Michael Lorenzen threw a no-hitter in his first home start for the team. His achievement was celebrated by Phillies fans throwing multiple hits at Washington Nationals fans in the parking lot.

Contestant Luke Valentine was removed from CBS’ ‘Big Brother‘ after repeatedly using the n-word on camera. Valentine will join the housemates on new CBS reality series ‘Bigot Brother‘.

Dorney Park amusement park in Allentown, Pennsylvania revealed plans for a new roller coaster, Iron Menace, to debut next year. They say it will simulate riding a rail car through a steel mill. At the end of the ride, everyone gets fired.

Three people in Australia died from ‘death cap’ mushroom poisoning after attending a family lunch. That evening’s family dinner featured a different caterer.

By |

Pennsylvania’s Dorney Park amusement park is the site of a mass vaccination clinic. They may leave it up through the summer to treat water park visitors for hepatitis.

Law & Order SVU producers say they’re hiring as many unemployed Broadway theater employees as they can – but with a preference for sex creeps.

The same researcher who claimed the ability to predict sexual orientation by facial scan now claims it can also predict political party. Some are outraged, others think it could be useful helping gay Republicans find each other.

The New York Times reports some jobless women are selling nudes on Only Fans to make ends meet, but are disappointed with low sales. “Maybe if you weren’t 80” said a choosy customer.

Donald Trump was impeached for a second time, as history repeached itself.

Snapchat permanently banned Donald Trump, citing the potential to incite violence, and, of course, the thousands of dick pics.

Siegfried Fischbacher of Siegfried & Roy died in Las Vegas at age 81. This follows the death of partner Roy Horn in May. Their famous white tigers are planning to retire from magic and start a singing act.

Joe Biden reportedly has to turn to Plan B because none of his cabinet picks will be confirmed before his inauguration. Fortunately Donald Trump had plenty of Plan B left in his medicine cabinet.

Former Michigan Governor Rick Snyder is facing neglect charges for failure to address the Flint, Michigan water crisis while in office. His attorneys claim the charges don’t hold undrinkable water.

Joe & Jill Biden announced they’ll adopt a cat once they’re in the White House. This, after the prior tenant preferred to get his pussy outside of it.