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The FBI is warning hackers can exploit vulnerabilities in internet-connected “Smart TVs”. They added that most Americans don’t need to worry because they only watch dumb shows.

‘Van Halen’ is trending on Twitter after singer Billie Eilish told a talk show host she didn’t know who they are. Worse, she did know Van Hagar.

The White House declined Congressional Democrats’ invitation to participate in Impeachment Hearings on Wednesday –  criticizing the process, and adding they conflict with a scheduled appearance of Miss Universe on Fox & Friends.

Melania Trump debuted the White House Christmas decorations in a theme called “The Spirit of America” – it’s a bunch of trees decorated in white trying to keep trees decorated in color outside.

American Airlines grounded a flight out of Florida after a woman faked an illness to get a better seat.  The woman was removed from the flight, and the dog she was sitting next to got the whole crate to himself.

American Hockey League defenseman Josh Healey has developed an app that lets players report abusive coaches and agents anonymously. It also offers tutorials on how to pull their shirt over their head and punch them while on skates.

Ikea is helping to design habitats for future human colonists living on Mars. They figure if they make the furniture even more frustrating to assemble, the colonists will forget they’re living on Mars.

The U.K. Office for National Statistics lowered the life expectancy for babies born in 2019 to 90.6 years, down from 93.6.  They cite overly optimistic prior estimates, and really, really, bad British baby food.

After numerous complaints, Amazon stopped selling Christmas tree ornaments featuring pictures of Auschwitz concentration camp. Your last chance to get one is the White Elephant/Yankee Swap with the racist guy at your office holiday party.

Actress Gabrielle Union claims her contract as a judge on ‘America’s Got Talent’ wasn’t renewed because producers deemed her hairstyles “too black” and called her “difficult”. She regrets not being there this season to watch people play Yankee Doodle on their armpits and duct-tape their balls to the back of their neck.

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Dean Foods, America’s largest milk producer, filed for bankruptcy. In case you’re wondering why there are so many cows driving for Uber.

Public impeachment hearings start today but will probably be missed by most Americans since they’re not on Disney+.

President Trump hosts the President of Turkey, Tayyip Erdogan. Trump had to be told multiple times not to pardon the turkey for another two weeks.

Venice, Italy’s famous canals are flooded after the city experienced the highest tide in 50 years. Gondola operators have instituted surge pricing.

A substitute foreign language teacher in Texas was fired and charged with assault for punching and stomping on a 16-year-old student. The student is okay, but still doesn’t know how to conjugate verbs in French.

NFL teams have been invited to watch Colin Kaepernick work out to see if they’ll sign him. No word on which teams will attend, but they don’t plan to show up until after the National Anthem.

Two people from a sparsely populated region in China have been diagnosed with pneumonic plague. Officials say they don’t expect others will be infected, so long as they don’t order the mu shu pork.

A 17-year-old boy whose lungs were damaged by vaping would have died without receiving a double-lung transplant. Surgeons described the lungs removed from the sick boy as “minty”.

Google is planning to offer checking accounts, and is teaching the Google Assistant different ways to say “you’re broke”.

A Russian man lost hundreds of thousands of airline miles after he smuggled his overweight cat onto a cross-country flight. The cat was discovered after getting drunk and inappropriately putting its paws on flight attendants.