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An American Airlines jet had to make an emergency landing after a bird strike set an engine on fire. Passengers deplaned and were treated to a hot lunch of roast goose before boarding a new aircraft.

Fox News parted ways with Tucker Carlson. He’s rumored to be in discussions with Comedy Central to host The Other Daily Show For Assholes.

CNN fired Don Lemon, who apparently isn’t in his prime, either.

Joe Biden officially declared his candidacy for reelection in 2023, then was corrected to 2024.

Disney’s massive layoffs of over 7,000 people have hit ESPN. The cable network was forced to lay off the WNBA.

The New York Jets acquired quarterback Aaron Rodgers from the Green Bay Packers. Rodgers is expected to report just as soon as he finds a 4-bedroom 3-bath rental house for $2,500/month like he had in Wisconsin.

E. Jean Carroll’s sexual assault trial against Donald Trump starts Tuesday, with Carroll’s lawyers making opening arguments, and Trump’s lawyers asking for clarification which sexual assault of his this is about.

Amazon Pet Day – the retailer’s two-day sale – is underway. They recommend opting for the express shipping so your purchase arrives alive.

OnlyFans model Courtney Tilia, a former teacher and married mother of four, said she’s a Christian porn star. “Oh my god” is what her subscribers say when they watch her have sex.

An intervention for former ‘Jackass’ star and addict Bam Margera failed earlier this month, according to a participant. It didn’t help that friends asked Margera to return to rehab while shooting him in the balls with rubber bullets.

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NASA’s Mars Rover found a shiny piece of foil on a rock. It also found an extraterrestrial lying on the ground holding its stomach, then discovered the foil had ‘KFC’ printed on it.

A new study discovered that when cats chew and rub against catnip, it protects them against mosquitoes. Indoor cats still like it just to get wasted.

Vladimir Putin claimed that a cyberattack delayed his planned speech to the St. Petersburg Economic Forum. However, the tech support guy on site claimed Putin kept pressing the wrong function key for the projector.

The Stadium Tour kicked off at Atlanta’s Truist Park, featuring performances from Classless Act, Joan Jett, Poison, Def Leppard, Motley Crue, and the defibrillator used to keep Motley’s Mick Mars and Vince Neil moving.

The state of Hawai’i’ tweeted that there are currently no girls detained in the Hawai’i Youth Correctional Facility. The facility’s annual Hula Contest promises to be an interesting one.

After closing due to the ongoing pandemic, Hong Kong’s iconic Jumbo Floating Restaurant was towed away. To save money, they used octopuses repurposed from the kitchen.

WWE CEO Vince McMahon stepped down after it was revealed he paid $3 million in hush money to a female employee with whom he naked tag-teamed.

USA Today determined a reporter fabricated quotes for 23 different stories, forcing their removal from the green, purple & red sections.

20 juveniles attempted to seize control of a youth correctional facility in Louisiana, but their plan unraveled when they argued about whose Tik Tok they would post the video to.

Jackass star Johnny Knoxville filed for divorce from his wife, Naomi. He’s asking for joint custody of their two children, who will be delivered to him every other weekend by being shot out of a cannon.