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The Bay County, Florida sheriff say he is “beyond frustrated” that nine people ignoring rip current/no swimming warnings drowned at Panama City Beach just this month. However, local sharks say they’re “beyond delighted”.

Nadya Suleman – aka Octomom – posted selfies showing off her shredded gym body, 14 years after octuplets shredded her delivery room body.

The United States Postal Service is raising the price of Forever stamps from 63 cents to 66 cents starting July 9th. They also announced Forever stamps no longer mean they’ll always be good, they mean your letter will take Forever to reach its recipient.

Ryan Seacrest will succeed Pat Sajak as host of ‘Wheel Of Fortune’ – dropping Levar Burton to 0-and-2.

Ticket sales for superhero movie ‘The Flash’ dropped by 73% in its second week of release. “That was fast” said producers losing their shirts.

Los Angeles Angels phenom Shohei Otani struck out 10 batters and hit two home runs before leaving the game against the Chicago White Sox with a cracked nail on his pitching hand. Several groupies offered their nails as a replacement, but they were two inches too long.

South Korea adopted the global standard for age counting – zero at birth, one year added each birthday – meaning thousands of Koreans are a year younger on paper. Mississippians purchasing child brides are thrilled to be getting 12-year-olds for the price of a teenager.

United Airlines CEO Scott Kirby blasted the FAA for their decision to cancel hundreds of flights due to storms across the U.S., leading to days-long delays for passengers. Nonetheless, Kirby said flight attendants are using the free time to train for inevitable in-flight fistfights with frustrated passengers.

A McDonald’s customer in Ohio found a nose ring in her Quarter Pounder, covered in what she hopes is cheese.

The first photos emerged of wreckage retrieved from the imploded OceanGate Titan submersible. Pieces will be examined for clues as to what happened, then given to the Smithsonian for their upcoming “They Ain’t All Great Ideas” exhibit.

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Lunchables are being shipped directly to school systems, following modifications to meet minimum nutrition requirements. Meaning, each lunch now doubles in size and comes with two bottles of Flintstones vitamins.

A new study claims 3D-printed organs for medical transplants are still 10 years away, and you’ll still be blown away at how much the magenta cartridge refills cost.

Los Angeles Angels slugger Shohei Otani, playing for Japan in the World Baseball Classic, was struck out on three pitches by Czech Republic pitcher Ondrej Satoria, who works as an electrician. Teams may try to sign Satoria if they think they can afford a full-time electrician.

For the first time since 1977, all six of Philadelphia’s universities failed to qualify for the NCAA Men’s Basketball tournment – shocking, considering how good Philly is at shooting.

Former Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher Trevor Bauer, suspended from Major League Baseball for sexual assault, will pitch for Japan’s Yokohama BayStars. Now Bauer can throw strikes at Japanese women.

Two Philadelphia schools remain closed for asbestos removal. Experts concluded the asbestos poses the 26th-most-dangerous threat to students at those schools.

Dubai will no longer charge a 30% tax on alcohol, and will no longer require tourists to buy permits to purchase alcoholic drinks. Dubai’s tourism board said this opens a door for rappers to finally hold their kids Sweet 16 parties in the country.

Former The O.C. actress Rachel Bilson said she never experienced orgasm during sex until she was 38 years old – recalling years of frustrating Chrismukkah Eves.

Facebook & Instagram parent Meta announced 10,000 job cuts, leaving impacted workers Reeling from the Story.

Silicon Valley Bank’s new CEO sent a letter to clients, saying “We are conducting business as usual”. He’s expected to be replaced by 4p.m.