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Masturbation abstinence ‘nofap’ groups are growing in popularity online. Men say they’re a great way to regain control of your life, and to get awesome ‘please come back to Pornhub Premium’ discount offers.

Real estate website Zillow projects Buffalo, NY to be 2024’s “hottest housing market”, as Zillow experts tried, and failed, to find a better adjective to describe Buffalo home sales.

Rizo Lopez Foods is recalling multiple grocery-stores cheeses including Oaxaca, Blanco Suave, Ricotta & Panela for lethal listeria contamination, which has reportedly already taken the lives of exotic Mexican cheese-eating mice.

Toyota announced plans to build new 3-row, all-electric SUVs in Kentucky, then ship them to states where people know how to use electricity to charge them before they’re sold.

Squatters in Atlanta were arrested for occupying a home and running an illegal strip club in it. The house was eventually listed for sale with 3 bathrooms and 4 Champagne Rooms.

Actor/comedian Kumail Nanjiani said he sought therapy to deal with bad reviews of Marvel’s ‘The Eternals’, in which he co-starred. He got the name of the therapist from Brie Larson, who uses them after every ‘Captain Marvel’ movie appearance.

Kanye West said he’s having difficulty booking arena shows due to his antisemitic rants. But he’s also pretty revved up about his upcoming tour of Iraq, Iran & Syria.

ESPN, Fox Sports & Warner Discovery are teaming up to launch a new streaming service dedicated to sports. Cable companies Xfinity, Spectrum & Cox announced they’re launching a new streaming service dedicated to telling customers their Internet bill is going up.

Travis Kelce’s mom, Donna, revealed that ‘pricey’ multi-million-dollar Super Bowl suites may force her to sit in a ‘regular’ seat. Or, ideally, to just stay home, drink wine and watch the Puppy Bowl without having to hug Taylor Swift every 15 minutes.

For the second straight year, U.S. liquor sales outpaced sales of beer & wine. The spirits industry said sales remain strong because of vodka, tequila, and a surge in the number of healthy livers for transplant.

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The first food truck exclusively for dogs debuted in Seattle. It was open for a day before it was totaled by the dog driving it.

Acquitted child murderer Casey Anthony is reportedly considering having another child. She’s been interviewing nannies who don’t necessarily have to be good with children.

Police and medical personnel were called to a Philadelphia city school when several junior high students ate rice krispies treats containing marijuana. A school guidance counselor led an emergency assembly to teach students how to vape their pot instead.

A son who murdered his investment banker father after his weekly allowance was cut from $1,000 to $300 was convicted and sentenced to 30 years to life. He’s still pretty stoked, since $300 a week goes a long way at the prison store.

Christie Brinkley posted a photo on Instagram of her severely bruised arm, which led to her subbing in her daughter Sailor on Dancing With The Stars. The bruise is so bad, everyone wondered where DWTS contestant Ray Lewis was when it happened.

Tech entrepreneur Alexander Rhodes and founder of “porn recovery” site NoFap told CNN he was addicted to porn when he was 12 years old until he turned 25. He thanks his life turnaround to abstinence from masturbation and a new prosthetic arm.

Rutgers named Nunzio Campanille interim head football coach, firing Chris Ash after losing their last three games by a combined 112-16. Asked if he thinks the 1-3 team will go to a bowl game, Coach Nunzio said “ay, fuggeddaboutit!”.

Elon Musk said a SpaceX rocket could reach Mars next year. All it needs is a recharging station on the moon.

Forever 21 declared bankruptcy and will close 178 stores, in what they’re calling The Big So-Much-For-Forever Sale.

CNN posted a list of the best questions to ask during a job interview. Not on the list: “Are those real?”