By |

Updated CDC guidance permits a reduction in separation from 6 feet to 3 feet between students in classrooms – welcome news for bullies with a 36-inch reach.

A 108-year-old Philadelphia woman received the COVID-19 vaccine. Her only complaint was her weight went up 50%.

In a new book, Sharon Stone claims a film producer asked her to sleep with a costar to improve their onscreen chemistry. It was right before Stone left the cast of a Muppet movie.

A new study claims people who walk slowly are more likely to get sick later in life, provided impatient drivers don’t kill them first.

Overseas spectators will be banned from the Tokyo Summer Olympics due to COVID-19 risk, but athletes from around the globe are welcome to be sickened.

40 teachers in a suburban Philadelphia school district called out of work on Friday, citing bad reactions to COVID-19 vaccines, and totally not a day-drinking party to watch the NCAA Men’s Basketball tournament.

Miami Beach Police used SWAT teams to disperse spring breakers violating the city’s new 8pm curfew. SWAT officers reportedly had trouble figuring out whose partier’s hands were in the air to surrender, and which were there to wave like they don’t care.

Scientists studying women and newborns claim they’ve identified 50 new chemicals lurking in human bodies – several of them are plastics, the rest are tied to flavor variants of Mountain Dew.

A 27-year-old named Meghann quit tv survival challenge ‘Naked & Afraid’ after four days in a Mexican desert, saying she couldn’t sleep because of biting insects in her genitals. The insects weren’t thrilled with their sleeping arrangements, either.

A Chicago Cubs minor leaguer was arrested for transporting 20 pounds of meth and over a pound of oxycodone pills. He claimed the drugs were necessary to help coaches and teammates overcome the boredom of watching spring training baseball.

By |

A woman saved her yellow labrador’s life with Narcan after the dog chewed open a bottle of oxycodone and overdosed. The dog fully recovered and now works as a counselor to other dogs struggling with opioids.

A Utah dog retrieved help for two girls struck by lightning. Rescuers eventually found the girls, after first misunderstanding the dog say there was trouble at the old mill.

A worker was suspended for punching an EasyJet passenger in the face after an altercation at the airport in Nice, France. Or as it’s now known, Not-So-Nice, France.

New series Star Trek:Discovery will introduce Lieutenant Stamets, the first openly gay character in the Star Trek Universe — a claim disputed by those who served on the Enterprise with Sulu and Data.

A British man totaled a new $260,000 Ferrari less than an hour after driving it off the lot. The man survived the fiery wreck and said his only regret was insuring the car with The General.

Katie Couric is leaving Yahoo. “Who? What?” said everyone under 30.

A pregnant ob/gyn went in to labor after starting to deliver her patient’s baby just minutes earlier. She told the patient to push twice – once with her hips to push the patient’s baby out, and once with her hands to hold the doctor’s baby in until she was done.

A woman called 911 to report a boa constrictor repeatedly biting her face. The 911 Operator told the woman how lucky she was, since boa constrictors usually just crush people to death.

The Chicago Cubs will give a 2016 World Series ring to infamous fan Steve Bartman. Bartman will receive two rings – one to keep and one to drop.

A new study in the journal Frontiers of Public Health states that Overfat people – those of normal body weight with too much fat in their bodies – are a growing at-risk subset of the population. Overfat people replied that they prefer the term Well-Marbled.

Los Angeles will host the 2028 Summer Olympics. Crowds of excited locals are expected to arrive at the games in the autumn.

Anthony Scaramucci is out as White House Communications Director after just one week – according to a statement he released to himself.

A U.S. District Court of Appeals sided with a consumer advocacy group, saying the FAA needs to reconsider regulating the narrowing widths of airline seats. Airlines countered that narrower seats are needed to create wider aisles to drag passengers.