Facebook is clamping down on “engagement bait” – posts that specifically ask for Likes, Comments & Shares. Everyone on Facebook promptly forgot the phone number of the Suicide Hotline and now just assume that no one is ever listening.

ESPN President John Skipper resigned from the network, citing a substance abuse issue. No further details were released, but it’s believed the head of ESPN can’t stop kissing Lebron James’ ass.

Carolina Panthers owner Jerry Richardson – focus of an NFL investigation regarding sexual harassment – announced that he is selling the team, but keeping the cheerleaders.

President Trump tweeted  his opinion that Republicans will do “very well” in 2018, presumably because none of them will pay any taxes.

Chick-fil-a is being praised for breaking with tradition and opening its Atlanta airport location on Sunday to feed passengers stranded there because of a power outage.  Delta Airlines tried feeding the hungry travelers, but ran out of meals after they got to Row 15.

Sarah Idan, competing as Miss Iraq in the Miss Universe pageant, said that she’s received death threats for a selfie she posted while posing with Miss Israel – and a lesser number of death threats for her singing in the talent competition.

According to corporate compensation firm Equilar, just one woman appears on their list of Highest Paid Executives Age 40 & Under – and man, does she ever get hit on a lot.

Campbell’s Soup is acquiring Snyder’s Pretzels, in an attempt to corner the market on sad lunches.

Austin McChord, a former student at Rochester Institute of Technology, donated $50 million to the school, the largest donation in its history – but will somehow still get six calls every year from the phone bank at the Alumni Pledge Drive.

Today, Twitter will begin enforcing its new rules around hate speech, violent threats and harassment – redirecting those activities to Reddit, whose new mobile apps launch today.