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Camden, Arkansas police officer LC ‘Buckshot’ Smith is 91 years old and has no plans to retire. He drives an unmarked police car, or at least that’s what they told him after they took the Paw Patrol decals off of it.

Wheel of Fortune’s Pat Sajak may have made a suggestive remark when a woman asked for a ‘D’ during the show, replying “she wants a D and she’s going to get one”. Sajak defended his comment, since she solved the puzzle: I WANT THAT DICK.

Tiger King’s Joe Exotic and his husband are getting a divorce after three years of marriage, citing Joe’s imprisonment and the inability to have conjungle visits.

A new study reports wine tasters give higher ratings to wine if they’ve been told it costs more. The research followed 200 hoboes, half of whom were told Thunderbird cost $4 instead of $2.

The Ever Given, a freight ship stuck in the Suez Canal for days, was finally freed by a high tide. However, several smaller ships drowned in the subsequent rip current.

Research following 20,000 adults aged 20 & over finds frequent consumption of restaurant meals increases the likelihood of early death. And by ‘early death’ they mean Wendy’s & McDonald’s breakfast.

A serial killer on Indiana’s death row died of brain cancer in a hospital. His doctors were unsuccessful treating him with 2,500 volts of radiation.

A researcher used an artificial intelligence text-generating tool to write pickup lines. Most are terrible, but some are good enough that manufacturers are making talking vibrators.

When the NFL Draft starts on April 29th, consensus #1 pick Trevor Lawrence won’t be there in person. Lawrence will watch at home, as will many other top picks once they remember it’s happening in Cleveland.

Dick’s Sporting Goods is opening Dick’s House of Sports in Rochester, NY – billed as their first “experiential, hands-on” store. Staff turnover has been challenging due to the nonstop procession of shoppers asking if “this is the hands-on Dicks. “

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Smoke from the west coast wildfires has reached the east coast, where skies will remain hazy because the smoke is required to quarantine for 14 days.

Health experts say that, despite risk from both seasonal flu and COVID-19, you shouldn’t get two flu shots. Shoppers at Walgreens say it will be hard to refuse the buy one, get one free special.

Scientists have found the area of the male brain that controls sexual desire. They were looking for a different portion of the male brain, but the sexual desire part kept getting in the way. [Story h/t to J.O.!]

Homeless Philadelphia protestors, living in an encampment while they seek affordable housing, invited Mayor Jim Kenney to a brunch there. Kenney declined, and missed out on the Thunderbird mimosas and squirrel carving station.

France reported 10,000 new cases of COVID-19. President Emmanuel Macron is delaying treatment to see if the virus surrenders first.

A new startup in India hopes to solve the country’s problem of disease caused by open defecation with an “indestructible” public toilet. However, the pandemic has delayed launch, since they can’t test it at Buffalo Bills parking lot tailgate parties.

Apple introduces its new Apple Watch later today, with a feature warning the wearer of an upcoming panic attack – that they’ll get when they discover they don’t have enough money for the new iPhone.

Drew Barrymore said she won’t refer to her new talk show – The Drew Barrymore Show – as “my show”. So this spring, she’ll get to tell staff “our show” is cancelled.

Sony says they may have to slow production of new Playstation 5 game consoles due to a shortage of processing chips. “Thanks for the excuse!” say cheapskate Moms & Dads.

A new report claims global animal populations have declined by 70% over the last 50 years. The study followed every animal except rats in New York.