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Shopping malls losing retail tenants are increasingly filling the vacant space with doctor’s offices. This is great news if you want to get a cute new outfit before your appointment with the hot dentist, or if you have a heart attack while mall walking.

On its next scheduled mission, SpaceX will launch an Adidas soccer ball and green slime into outer space. They’re hoping it will help to lure out an 8-year-old who ran away from the International Space Station.

A note passed to a Domino’s Pizza employee at a New Mexico store led to the rescue of a kidnapped woman. Her captor allowed her to enter the store to get a takeout pizza, when she gave the clerk a note indicating she was a captive. The note added “P.S. your pizza sucks.”

Hawaii Rep. Tulsi Gabbard said that California Senator Kamala Harris was “not qualified” to be President — kicking off the first Democatfight.

Lifetime channel will produce a follow-up to their hit investigative series ‘Surviving R. Kelly’ — tentatively titled ‘Washing The Pee Off’.

Komiko Love, a single parent known as ‘The Budget Mom’, shared how she eliminated $77,000 in debt in 8 months. She created a strict system of tracking income and expenses, and sold her son.

A Florida man in a Captain America t-shirt was recorded masturbating in front of a female security guard at a gated community. The guard asked him to cover up with his Vibranium shield until more sober Avengers could take him home.

Viral video shows a bison at Yellowstone National Park charging and tossing a 9-year-old girl in the air, after becoming agitated at tourists standing too close. The girl was treated and released, and the bison used a nearby tree trunk to realign his horns.

The House of Representatives voted 429-3 to advance the Stopping Bad Robocalls Act, aimed to reduce unwanted telemarketing calls. The three dissenting voters said they held out because they want to hear more about these zero-percent interest rate credit cards.

A new AAA study claims older drivers are more easily distracted than younger drivers by in-car technology, taking 4-to-8 seconds longer to interact with dashboard systems. AAA claims some systems are poorly designed, while others have no outlets to plug in a Walkman.

FBI agents raided Biological Resource Center in Phoenix, a body-part donation bank, and found a cooler full of detached penises.  Agents removed them from the cooler and they got a lot bigger.

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Captain Travis Zettel – commander of navy submarine USS Bremerton – was relieved of his duty after admitting to hiring prostitutes in the Philippines. This, despite Captain Zettel saving thousands of dollars he would have spent hiring them in Hawaii.

SpaceX announced it’s laying off 10% of its workforce, or about 700 employees, creating XtraSpaceX.

Hawaiian Congresswoman Tulsi Gabbard announced she’s running for President in 2020 – making her an even bigger household name.

A Florida surgeon was fined $3,000 for removing a woman’s kidney that he thought was a tumor. Even worse, he was performing brain surgery.

Asymmetric jeans – with one fitted leg and one narrow leg – may be the next big style trend in women’s fashion. Most women agree they look ridiculous, but appreciate having to struggle with just one leg of them.

A 21-year-old male hide-and-seek player was found dead in an elevator shaft in an abandoned Detroit building the morning after the other players had gone home. He was posthumously declared the winner.

President Trump reportedly berated acting chief of staff Mick Mulvaney in a meeting with Congressional Democrats regarding border security, saying “you just f**ked it all up”.  Trump overheard Mulvaney ordering Quarter Pounders instead of Big Macs from Uber Eats.

The Who announced 2019 summer tour dates. Or, as they’re known to anyone under 30, The Who?

A photo of an egg became the most-liked photo on Instagram with 23 million likes, surpassing the 18+ million likes from Kylie Jenner’s birth announcement photo last February. So the egg wins, even though the chick came first.

New research contradicts earlier studies pointing to Monday morning as the most-likely time to suffer a heart attack. Of the 2,631 heart attacks studied, most happened in the afternoon — proving that many people can’t get anything done until they’ve had their morning coffee.

Twitter is launching a new beta program to gather feedback on possible new features. “Why didn’t failing Twitter pick me to test new features? SAD!” wrote an anonymous user.

A handgun went undetected through a TSA security checkpoint at the Atlanta airport, and the passenger took it with them on a flight to Tokyo. TSA is investigating how they missed the gun, as well as the 10-gallon hat, spurs, holster, and horse.