Former nude model and current First Lady Melania Trump tweeted to honor ‘Pearl Harbor Heroes’, but typed in the wrong date, November 7, 1941 instead of December 7. Melania’s assistant explained that the November 7 date was intended for a different tweet, honoring the heroes of the Bergdorf Goodman November shoe sale.

A Delta flight from New York to Seattle had to make an unscheduled stop in Montana because the toilets stopped working. “They worked fine for me” said one passenger as he tossed out the remnants of three Taco Bell 5 Buck Boxes.

U.K. firefighters responded to a call to free a 22-year-old man who had cemented his head inside of a microwave while filming a YouTube stunt. The man was freed after an hour, and complained that his head was very hot in some spots, but still cold in others.

Discount retailer Dollar General plans to open 900 stores in 2018 — or more, depending on how fast they can get Sears and KMart to move out.

Anheuser-Busch ordered 40 electric trucks from Tesla; the brewing giant was impressed that the trucks could drive themselves, even while drunk.

Bitcoin hit a new record high of $17,000 on Friday, then dropped over $3,000 in value that same morning, worrying the new breed of currency speculators who work at Burger King.

Ford announced it’s investing $900 million in a Michigan plant to make self-driving cars. Once built, the cars will be evaluated on how long they can drive themselves around Detroit without getting stolen.

Amid the fallout from scandals involving Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, Brett Ratner and others, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences approved new Standards of Conduct for members in the film and tv industries. Only now nobody wants to produce movies or tv shows anymore.

Police in the New York City suburb of Clarkstown are warning residents to stay away from a hybrid wolf/coyote, known as a ‘coywolf’. The animal weighs 75 pounds, has a grey coat, and has been asking pedestrians if they want to see his puppies in a van.

Arby’s is introducing the Arbynator, a french-fry filled sandwich. Arby’s now has the meats, has the potatoes, and has no more ideas.

The U.S. Economy added 228,000 jobs in November. The Labor Department cited growth in Manufacturing, Santa Clauses, and roles in tv ads with elves in them.