By |

The Writers Guild of America is reportedly close to resolving their strike with Hollywood studios. Writers could return to work as soon as this week to be terrorized by Jimmy Fallon.

President Zelensky said Abrams tanks from the U.S. have arrived in Ukraine. He thanked the U.S. for the tanks, and for the porno mags left in them by U.S. soldiers.

A leading exercise physiologist said more people in the U.S. are “skinny fat” – exercising, but still unhealthy because of their diet. This is also known as The Planet Fitness Effect.

Ryan Seacrest revealed that nothing will change when he takes over from Pat Sajak as host of Wheel Of Fortune. Producers rejected a proposal to implement ‘surge pricing’ for vowels.

Philadelphia-area photographers say many women booking “boudoir shoots” want their bedroom photos taken while wearing Philadelphia Eagles jerseys. Although some women question how badly their husbands and boyfriends want to have sex with a football player.

Expend4ables bombed at the box office, collecting just $8.3 million in ticket sales, and an even more disappointing $30 million in popcorn and soda sales.

Taylor Swift attended the Kansas City Chiefs game in the suite of Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce, sitting next to Kelce’s mother. Their relationship is unclear, since Swift has already met Kelce’s mother, but haven’t exchanged friendship bracelets or tongues.

Swift and Kelce reportedly had a postgame dinner date at a local restaurant, where she paid all of the customers inside to leave early so they could have the place to themselves. However, several customers refused to leave until they finished their Moons Over My Hammy.

Chester County, Pennsylvania held a town hall meeting to address security concerns after the escape of murderer Danelo Cavalcante from the county jail. Residents in attendance became angry when two other fugitive murderers spoke at the meeting, then fled.

The daughter of a homeless Florida woman who was found dead in the jaws of an alligator started a GoFundMe to raise funeral expenses, and maybe get a handbag, belt and a pair of shoes out of the deal.

By |

UPS workers reached a tentative contract agreement with the Teamsters union, ensuring Americans uninterrupted delivery of their stupid crap.

Walmart is offering refunds to shoppers who mistakenly purchased $49 Walmart+ memberships at self-checkout kiosks. In-store customer service personnel will also assist those who want to learn how to shoplift a Walmart+ membership.

51 pilot whales died in Australia, leaving thousands of passenger whales stranded at Whale Airport.

A ship carrying 3,000 cars caught fire off the coast of the Netherlands. It’s considered a total loss, including hundreds of self-driving electric cars trying to escape that drove themselves in to the ocean and drowned.

Many social media influencers are ceasing to create content in sympathy with the ongoing strikes of the Screen Actors Guild and Writers Guild of America – leaving them confused at how to do even less than they’re already kind of doing.

A Texas couple is suing the owner of a Maryland AirBNB for $75,000 after discovering hidden cameras in the bathroom of their rental, which captured the couple having sex. The owner offered to settle for $750, since the movie wasn’t that great.

Mick Jagger turned 80, and looks just as great as Keith Richards did at 30.

Paris will allow swimming in the River Seine for the first time in 100 years, since it was closed to swimmers due to bacterial contamination. Parisians emerging from the river after a swim aren’t expected to smell much different.

The River Seine will first be used for the swimming portion of events at the 2024 Summer Olympics, so world class athletes will be the first to go in-Seine.

The mummified remains of two sisters and one sister’s teen son were identified following their discovery at a remote Colorado campground. They had told friends they planned to live ‘off the grid’ – which they did, until they also died off it.