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Hilaria Baldwin said she’s dealing with “mama guilt” after she and husband Alec welcomed a 7th child together, concerned about spending enough time with each of them. Alec is dealing with “papa guilt” – a potential involuntary manslaughter conviction.

Megan Thee Stallion created a website that lists mental health resources for her fans. Although she points out it’s not for people crazy about big tits and asses.

Hurricane Ian struck Cuba and is making its way toward the Gulf Coast. The bad news is potential destruction; the good news is the fast currents will deliver rafts of illegal immigrants to Florida shores several hours early.

Black actress KiKi Layne said she and fellow person-of-color actor Ari’el Stachel had significant roles in the new film Don’t Worry Darling, but much of their work was cut. Director Olivia Wilde said she saved the footage for a possible sequel, Don’t Worry Shawty.

The cousin of one of Jeffrey Dahmer’s victims is angry at the Netflix dramatization of Dahmer’s killings, saying it’s dredged up painful memories, or ‘cannibal reflux’.

Philadelphia Mayor Jim Kenney signed an executive order banning guns in Philly recreation spaces. Players will have to figure out a new way to punish the losing team in pickup basketball games.

800 competitors entered Florida’s Python Hunt – a months-long effort to rid the Everglades of invasive Burmese pythons. No word on how it’s going, other than the competitors list is down to 792 since the pythons won some battles.

Dr. Umberto Tozzi, a cosmetic surgeon specializing in vaginal reconstruction, or labiaplasty, explained to NeedToKnow Online why he’s performed over 300 of the surgeries – his 50% off coupons.

Families of children are warring with Pickleball players who set up DIY courts in New York City playgrounds, interfering with their kids space and playtime. Pickleballers are fighting back to regain their turf by joining the PickleCrips.

Newly-activated Russian soldiers from Vladimir Putin’s draft are immediately surrendering to their Ukrainian counterparts after deployment. It’s so bad, Emmanuel Macron issued a statement denying that France is training the Russian army.

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Philadelphia is ending its indoor mask mandate less than a week after reinstating it, after the Centers for Disease Control determined the health benefits of wearing one didn’t outweigh the risks from the food Philly residents ate when they removed it.

Tiger Woods introduced two new 18-hole putting courses at a fun center in Sarasota. He focused on putting courses because he’s notoriously great at putting, and because it leaves more time for participants to hit on the female bartenders.

Mike Tyson repeatedly punched a passenger seated behind him on a Jet Blue flight, but walked off the aircraft before it departed. He then boarded a Spirit Airlines flight, and waited for the captain to illuminate the fistfight sign before pummeling a different guy.

A new mom’s Tik Tok video claims the key to understanding a newborn baby is deciphering nine unique baby cries – three each for hunger, fatigue, and filling their diaper.

The FAA revoked the private pilot’s license of YouTube’r Trevor Jacob, saying he crashed a small plane on purpose, jumping out with a parachute and recording it all on a smartphone with a selfie stick. Jacob remains grounded for a year, and then will start work flying for Spirit Airlines.

Amber Heard is accused of copying ex-husband Johnny Depp’s outfits as the two square off in court over a lawsuit. Heard said it was tough to find a Halloween Spirit store open in April to get a Captain Jack Sparrow costume.

Florida released four examples of math textbooks it disqualified for use in the state. The exhibits showed bar charts measuring perceived racism – with the tall bar labeled ‘Florida’.

Donald Trump mocked the shutdown of CNN+ streaming service after just three weeks. He released a statement calling it an ’empty desert’. The statement was released on multiple online outlets, including to the six people on Truth Social.

Victoria’s Secret named its first male Brand Ambassador, actor Darren Barnet. He’ll model gender-neutral apparel and give online tutorials on one-handed bra unhooking.

Kevin Federline’s lawyer said Britney Spears’ recent post about his not wanting to see her when she was pregnant with their children is false, and that he would vigorously defend Federline just as soon as Britney paid him.

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Florida’s controversial ‘Don’t Say Gay’ bill is expected to be signed into law by Governor Ron DeSantis. Mississippi is considering related legislation, ‘Don’t Put ‘Homosexual’ On Spelling Tests’.

Kim Kardashian said in an interview “I have the best advice for women…get your f**king ass up and work”. Kardashian was dragged on social media, but critics admit no one has gotten their ass up as much as Kim Kardashian.

Photographers captured Kourtney Kardashian kissing & grinding on top of fiance Travis Barker on a California beach. Kourtney said she was just taking her sister’s advice by getting her ass up and getting to work.

NFL Hall Of Famer Deion Sanders had two of his toes amputated. He was considering having a third toe removed so the ones remaining would be a Prime number.

Exports of Nintendo gaming consoles to Russia have been stopped, citing the thousands of deaths suffered by Mario in his war with Bowser.

Tiger Woods’ daughter Sam introduced him at his World Golf Hall Of Fame induction, saying she “inducted (him) to the Dad Hall Of Fame a long time ago.” His induction to the Husband Hall Of Fame, however, remains in doubt.

Elon Musk and partner Grimes welcomed a second child, a girl born via surrogate, Exa Dark Siderael. She and older brother X Æ A-XII, are now officially The Hardest Kids To Buy Personalized Souvenirs For At Disney World.

Courteney Cox claims she doesn’t remember the 10 years she spent on sitcom ‘Friends‘. Ironically, everyone who’s seen it is trying to forget the years she spent on ‘Cougar Town‘.

Congress’ new budget includes NASA funding for a new commercial space station in low-earth orbit. Or, as regular people will come to know it, the world’s highest Starbucks.

‘Black Panther’ director Ryan Coogler was mistakenly arrested as a suspected robber for passing a note requesting a $12,000 cash withdrawal at an Atlanta bank. Coogler was released, but vowed to close his T’Checking account at Wakanda Savings & Loan.

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Florida advanced a controversial “Don’t Say Gay” bill, banning discussion and activity about gender identity and sexual orientation in primary grade schools. This really messes up 6th graders who’d readied their drag queen acts for the big talent show.

A new study claims changing to a healthy diet could extend your life by up to 20 years. The same study finds Discshortened lives for anyone who’s rolled up over 20,000 reward points in the McDonald’s app.

Five Olympic ski jumpers were disqualified for wearing clothing deemed “too baggy” that could unfairly help them stay aloft. Another five were disqualified for eating rice & beans that could illegally aid in mid-air propulsion.

An Indonesian crocodile that had a motorcycle tire stuck around its neck for six years finally had it removed. The croc would have had it done sooner, but he’d paid for free lifetime balancing and rotation.

Tesla is recalling vehicles because their faulty heat pumps won’t properly defrost windshields, leaving Tesla autopilot drivers watching movies unable to look up and see what their car is crashing into.

The first evidence of the Omicron variant of COVID-19 being spread to wild animals has been found – a raccoon complaining to a veterinarian that he can’t taste or smell the garbage he’s eating.

New research links sleeping to weight loss. The study followed drug addicts who nod off for 16 hours a day.

Discovery Networks merger with WarnerMedia was approved – paving the way for ‘Dr Pimple Popper: The Movie’.

Kanye West made a open plea on Instagram for a reunion with Kim Kardashian and their kids, posting family photos captioned ‘GOD PLEASE BRING OUR FAMILY BACK TOGETHER’. God liked the pic but did not post a comment.

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck attended the premiere of her new movie ‘Marry Me‘. No word on whether they’ll attend the premiere of his upcoming release ‘Let’s Just Have Sex And See Where This Goes‘.

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A Colorado daycare owner was sentenced to six years in prison for hiding 26 children behind a wall in the facility’s basement. She also lost her contract with Apple to manufacture iPads.

Kellogg’s faces a $5 million lawsuit for not having enough strawberries in their Pop-Tarts filling. The lawsuit dates back several years, to when the five-year-old plaintiff first tried hiring a lawyer.

Wildlife officials in Colombia have begun chemically sterilizing “cocaine hippos” that once belonged to drug lord Pablo Escobar in his private zoo, because their mating is out of control, and because several zookeepers have died trying to apply giant condoms.

Brian Laundrie’s autopsy came back “inconclusive” for a cause of death. Laundrie’s body will reportedly be studied by an anthropologist, while police look for clues in Yelp! reviews left by alligators who ate at the Carlton Reserve where he was found.

Car rental agency Hertz says it will buy 100,000 Tesla electric cars as part of a plan to switch its entire fleet to electric vehicles, then gouge customers when they return to the airport late for their flight with the battery half-charged.

A Georgia business owner is accused of using $57,000 from an $80,00 federal pandemic relief loan to buy a Pokemon card – then using the remaining money to buy vintage Capri Suns to sip while playing.

The Facebook Papers – leaked documents from whistleblower Frances Haugen – are shedding light on Facebook’s role in the January 6th riots. Although Facebook denies this, saying Events always have thousands of people Interested who never show up.

Florida Governor Ron Desantis is offering $5,000 bonuses for anti-vax cops from other states to come work there. Further, he’s offering Democrats bonuses to move there and give the new hires someone to shoot at.

Flight attendants of defunct Italian airline Alitalia staged a public protest, stripping down to their undergarments to protest a loss of work. Alitalia flight attendants removing their clothes was, up until then, a perk only given to Platinum Elite passengers.

Burglars reportedly broke into Jeremy Piven’s Hollywood home, stealing clothes valued at $20,000 and his standup comedy notebooks, valued at nothing.

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Officials confirmed the human remains found in a Florida nature preserve are those of fugitive Brian Laundrie. Dog The Bounty Hunter is now officially out of excuses for not writing thank-you cards for gifts from his recent wedding.

Donald Trump’s TRUTH Social was immediately hacked after launch, with Trump’s own account depicting a pig defecating on its own scrotum. TRUTH Social execs disputed this, saying the picture was of Melania’s pet from her youth in Slovenia.

A 106-year-old woman in Pennsylvania, who credits her long life to a one-Yuengling Lager-a-day routine, received a special gift from the brewery. It’s a Lifetime Supply of beer, which in her case is a 12-pack.

A Tufts University women’s lacrosse player died from choking during a hot dog eating contest for charity. Other contestants tried, and failed, to save her using the Oscar-Mayer Maneuver.

Lauren Witzke, a losing Republican U.S. Senate candidate from Delaware who opposes vaccines and embraces QAnon theories, contracted COVID-19. Witzke says she has “lost her joy” – and by “joy” she means “lung function”.

Afghan news professionals predict a bleak future for their trade under Taliban rule, citing a recent episode of top-rated ‘Good Morning Kabul’ that was just three hours of hand-chopping videos.

Pfizer’s COVID vaccine is 90% effective in children ages 5-to-12. The other 10% are kids that ran and haven’t been caught.

Queen Elizabeth II spent the night in a hospital for “preliminary investigations”. She was sent back home the next day after doctors determined the stick up her ass hadn’t shifted.

Tesla owners are concerned about the Biden Administration possibly regulating Autopilot. The Administration counters that Autopilot oversight is needed because of climate change – Teslas on Autopilot are killng too many trees by crashing into them.

Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz failed to pay his bar dues and can no longer practice law in Florida. Gaetz did, however, pay the bar bills for multiple 16-and-17-year-old girls.

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Police revealed that fugitive Brian Laundrie had been under surveillance since he returned to Florida after the disappearance of fiance Gabby Petito. They also revealed that it wasn’t exactly great surveillance.

18 former NBA players are charged in a $4 million health care fraud scheme. They deny the charges, but will likely take plea deals because none of them really want to play defense.

The Trump International Hotel in Washington DC accumulated $70 million in losses during Donald Trump’s four years as President – $10 million in operating losses, and $60 million in visiting dignitaries stealing towels.

California made ‘stealthing’ – removing a condom without verbal consent during intercourse – illegal. The verbal consent clause is a compromise from the original bill, which required both parties to sign the condom.

A judge sentenced an Illinois woman to four days in jail for coming too close to a grizzly bear and her cubs while taking photos in Yellowstone National Park. The bear also was granted the first-ever restraining order against a human in park history.

A California criminology professor was arrested and charged with arson for starting the state’s Cal Fire. The professor said he was running out of things to talk about in class.

Fox News turned 25 on Thursday, a milestone commemorated with a new special: “Fox News’ 50th Anniversary‘.

Despite the harmful effects to the environment, China has ordered increased production of coal, claiming there’s an energy shortage, and a record number of Chinese kids on Santa’s naughty list.

Researchers in Japan successfully tested a vaccination strategy in mice that could prevent not just COVID-19 but other coronavirus strains. The key to making it work in humans is finding a way to get them to eat the cheese or peanut butter.

A Waffle House employee at the center of a viral video controversy – she’s holding a baby while working in the kitchen – defended herself, saying she had no choice but to take the baby, her niece, to work. Critics say the problem isn’t the baby being there, it’s that the baby is smoking in a food prep area.

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NASA said a newly-discovered planet with ‘iron rainfall’ is even more extreme than they thought, based on the countless numbers of umbrellas it’s broken.

After adding the Impossible Whopper to its menu two years ago, Burger King is testing Impossible plant-based chicken nuggets. Burger King says this aligns with their strategy of making their whole menu Impossible to eat.

Congress agreed to a temporary lifting of the federal debt ceiling until December, saving Christmas.

A Federal judge temporarily blocked Texas’ controversial ban on abortions for fetuses older than six weeks. He issued his ruling from the waiting room at Planned Parenthood.

Florida cops searching for fugitive Brian Laundrie say they’ve found a “fresh camping site” in the Carlton Reserve swamps. They found tanning spray and bleached blond hair with split ends, and determined the campsite was Dog The Bounty Hunter’s.

KISS frontman Paul Stanley told website Ultimate Classic Rock the exact date when the band is over – January 1st, 1993.

Bank of America raised its minimum wage for workers to $21/hour – so, thanks to ‘bankers hours’, workers can rake in up to $42/day.

A corporate executive was the only person on a 386-seat widebody aircraft flight from Abu Dhabi to Singapore on Etihad Airways. Unfortunately, his carry-on was deemed too big for the overhead compartment and he was forced to gate-check it.

Old Country Buffet was acquired by a restaurant holding company, who said they have no plans to revive it. They did say they planned to remove people from closed locations who still refused to leave until they brought out more fried shrimp.

Wednesday, October 6th marked the first anniversary of Eddie van Halen’s death, and the end of terrible year-long tribute guitar solos from tone-deaf hacks.

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A study finds that a two-shot version of the Johnson & Johnson COVID vaccine is 94% effective in preventing serious infection. Americans are eagerly awaiting the new Johnson & Johnson & Johnson & Johnson shots.

The International Federation of Sport Climbing issued an apology to competitor Johanna Farber, after tv coverage of the world championships showed an extended closeup of chalk handprints on her buttocks. Farber complained about being sexualized, and about being called ‘a real handful’.

A study of Tesla drivers finds they become “inattentive” when using their car’s Autopilot feature. The study surveyed 100 owners of Teslas totaled by trees and telephone poles.

Chipotle Mexican Grill is adding smoked brisket as a meat option for a limited time, with “limited time” believed to be the earlier of one month, or ten E.coli poisonings.

Apple is working on technology to detect depression in users. They’ll analyze iMessages to see how long it’s been since iPhone owners got laid.

SpaceX’s civilian astronauts, who spent three days in space on the Inspiration 4, said they encountered problems with the toilets on board – specifically, really old magazines.

Researchers at Washington University of St. Louis say they can determine when patients first show signs of Alzheimer’s related dementia – it’s when they show up for their dementia exam and ask when the movie is going to start.

The search for Gabby Petito’s fiance Brian Laundrie – a person of interest in her death – resumes in Florida. Investigators obtained search warrants in order to floss the teeth of alligators in the remote glades where he may have been hiding.

Western U.S. wildfires are threatening the lives of some of the country’s oldest trees, and driving up home prices for squirrels.

HGTV star Christina Haack showed off her huge diamond engagement ring from fiance Josh Hall. Following marriages to Tarek El Moussa and Ant Anstead, this is her third flip.

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Officials are worried about a credible ISIS terrorist threat to the area around Kabul Airport in Afghanistan – they’re threatening to only sell Dasani water.

Over half of Florida’s school districts are defying Governor Desantis’ ban on mask mandates. Some families still support the mask ban, and are planning to have their kids trick-or-treat as themselves.

Vice President Kamala Harris visited Vietnam, and required a SEAL Team to free her from captivity making sneakers in a Nike factory.

Spencer Elden, who appeared naked underwater as a baby on the cover of Nirvana’s LP ‘Nevermind‘, is suing, claiming his appearance constitutes child pornography. Nirvana’s attorneys want to settle the lawsuit by giving Elden a binky and a nap.

Paulina Porizkova, 56, shared an unretouched version of her nude photo that appeared on the cover of LA Magazine. She said the pic used “no filters, no anything else”, a claim disputed by creeps who wish it had no hair obscuring her boobs.

Two U.S. congressmen – both former military service members – flew to Kabul to see the Afghanistan evacuation effort firsthand, and to hold the lowest-grossing fundraising dinners in modern history.

Delta Air Lines is raising health insurance premiums for unvaccinated workers by $200/month to compensate for COVID-19 expenses. The workers plan to make up the $200 by selling more stuff they steal out of your checked baggage.

Rolling Stones drummer Charlie Watts died at age 80, shocking everyone who placed bets on Keith Richards for the last 20 years.

Stones frontman Mick Jagger paid tribute to Watts, but feels that the show must go on – starting at $200 for lousy seats.

OnlyFans has reversed its decision and will no longer ban pornography on October 1st. Shares of KY and Astroglide lubricants are up 300% in early trading.