Friday Jokes: December 14

Del Monte is recalling more than 64,000 cases of canned ‘fiesta corn’ – mixed with red and green peppers – due to botulism risk. They’re also considering recalling all inventory of canned cream corn because of terroristic threats from grossed-out kids.

Taylor Swift revealed that video kiosks set up at her concerts used facial recognition software to identify her known stalkers in attendance. A ‘command station’ in Nashville held a database of Swift’s stalkers photos for comparison. No reason was given as to why Donald Trump’s photo was in the database.

Amazon lowered the price on a 2nd-generation Alexa-enabled Echo Dot to just $19.99 for its big Christmas Sale. That’s the lowest price ever to surrender any & all privacy in your home.

Melania Trump became the first First Lady to fly in V-22 Osprey, a massive military flight machine that has airplane range, yet lifts off & lands like a helicopter. Her flight took her over the Atlantic Ocean and parts of Virginia, safely landing on the roof of Bergdorf Goodman just before the end of their Christmas shoe sale.

KFC is selling prefab firelogs that smell like their fried chicken when burned.  You can either let the logs burn all the way out, or extinguish them with your own vomit. [h/t to SES & RC !]

Michael Cohen sat for an interview on ABC’s ‘Good Morning America’ to discuss his and now-President Trump’s role in paying off Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal. Cohen said of Trump “he knows the truth” — which, for Trump, is a first.

  • Cohen added that he’s “done being loyal to Trump”, and that he’s shifting his loyalty to whomever is boss of his cell block.

Netflix is testing a new feature, ‘Watch That Scene Again’, which allows viewers to immediately re-watch key scenes in movies. They say they got the idea from every guy who’s watched porn, ever.

Facebook admitted that for 12 days, it allowed access to users’ photos that they’d uploaded to Facebook, but had not agreed to share.  Facebook admits that this resulted in the unwanted sharing of boob and penis shots that users were on the fence about while they tried alternate angles & lighting.

A Reuters investigation alleges that Johnson & Johnson for years hid the knowledge that its signature Baby Powder contained cancer-causing asbestos. J&J has yet to deny the reports, but says they aren’t receiving enough credit for the powder preventing babies from catching fire. [h/t to BTT]

Stormy Daniels owes Donald Trump’s lawyers over $293,000 for her failed defamation lawsuit, and is in talks with Scores strip clubs to do high-end shows to earn the money. Her lawyer said  Scores would need to pay more than the current offer she has from the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

 

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