Friday Jokes: August 23rd

Former White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders is joining Fox News. She becomes the network’s biggest female talent.

Amazon opened its largest office building in the world in Hyperabad, India. It has room for 15,000 employees and one restroom.

A Manhattan man was killed after an elevator car he was exiting malfunctioned. A friend is expected to give him the world’s briefest eulogy: “Going up.”

Costco is opening its first warehouse club in China. They’re hiring extra forklift operators and EMTs to rescue customers crushed trying to carry bulk bags of rice.

Website Business Insider ranked nine brands of hard seltzer and industry leader White Claw emerged as #1.  The non-scientific survey was conducted during a free period for the 50 high school sophomore girls participating.

Godzilla made a ceremonial plate appearance before a professional baseball game in Japan. He struck out swinging his short arms, breathed fire on the pitcher and was ejected.

A priest in Chester County, Pennsylvania is accused of stealing $125,000 to fund his lavish lifestyle, including a beach house and relationships with men. Parishioners grew suspicious when he hired a sommelier for the altar wine.

Golfer Brooks Koepka posed nude for ESPN The Magazine’s Body Issue. He said those criticizing him don’t have the Titleists to do it themselves.

Tom Brady’s request to have the name “Tom Terrific” trademarked was denied based on its association with baseball Hall of Famer Tom Seaver. His trademark request for “Tom The Cheating Ball Deflater” was approved, but isn’t expected to do him much good.

Liam Hemsworth told E! News when he decided it was time to file for divorce from Miley Cyrus — his wedding day.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s