Friday Jokes: October 25th

A Philadelphia International Airport terminal was shut down by catering workers striking for better wages and health care. They expect the public’s enthusiastic support because everybody loves airline food.

A new Cleveland Clinic study offers definitive proof of lung damage from vaping, and overall damage from living in Cleveland.

Two passengers and their emotional support dogs were kicked off of a Norwegian Air flight after crew said the dogs showed signs of distress – specifically, piles of distress.

A study published in Nature documents what happens to the body when people stop eating meat. Subjects showed an increase in beneficial gut bacteria, and a decrease in whatever e.Coli is shutting down a Chipotle that week.

Fox Business Channel Stuart Varney spoke to the CEO of WD-40, who said that WD-40 stands for “water displacement, 40th formula.” Varney replied “how the hell did this guy get on the show?”

Facebook is launching Facebook News, which is expected to contribute tens of millions of dollars to the Russian economy.

A bear pushing a wheelbarrow attacked his handler during a performance in a Russian traveling circus. The bear was subdued but not killed, and has been assigned a career coach to guide him in better ways to ask for a raise.

Brett Favre told sports journalist Peter King he thinks he might’ve played in the NFL too long, adding “I think I might’ve played in the NFL too long.”

After being diagnosed with a pulmonary embolism, Dog the Bounty Hunter told Dr. Oz he’s stopped eating “white foods” like sugar, bread and pasta. Dog said he’s struggling, because he doesn’t have the right friends to recommend black foods.

Taylor Swift and Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote a new song for the film adaptation of ‘Cats’. It’s a lot of mean stuff about a tomcat who breaks it off with a girl cat.

President Trump said he’ll attend a Washington Nationals World Series game if it extends to Game 5. After that, he said he won’t be free until Game 9.

 

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