Friday Jokes: April 24th

Donald Trump suggested coronavirus could be treated by injecting disinfectant, causing the makers of Lysol to say it’s a bad idea, but would kill 99.99% of those who try it.

Nintendo confirmed 160,000 Nintendo store & eShop accounts were accessed in hacking attempts. They recommend activating two-factor authentication, where you first enter a password, then verify your voice saying “It’s-A Me”.

Valerie Bertinelli turned 60 – 21,915 days at a time.

A Fashion Institute of Technology professor of textiles said sweatpants and leggings worn during lockdown can go “a week or two” without washing – adding that when the time is right, they’ll probably just jump in the washer themselves.

Former U.S. Women’s National Soccer team goalie Hope Solo gave birth to twins. The doctor handed them to her, and she resisted the urge to kick them to midfield.

Neiman Marcus is filing for bankruptcy. If they have to ask how much they owe, they can’t afford it.

A 55-year-old man in a surgical mask was arrested for exposing his genitals outside of a Pittsburgh area Target. The store manager was quick to assure everyone that it wasn’t a Target Team Member.

Chipotle shared the recipe for its guacamole – the last line is how you collect $3 from everyone who eats it.

Burger King is giving 10,000 free Whoppers to people who scan a QR code in a commercial, meaning no free food for anyone who left their phone more than six feet away.

Police in Fairfax County, Virginia arrested 30 pedophiles targeting children who were taking classes online. Almost all of the accused are trying to convince judges they were teaching Health class.

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