Monday Jokes: June 15th

In recognition of Pride Month, producers at Nickelodeon announced that cartoon character SpongeBob Squarepants is gay. Specifically, he’s a Bikini Bottom.

A Wisconsin trainer at an Anytime Fitness gym was fired for creating an “I Can’t Breathe” workout. In addition to disrespecting the memory of George Floyd, the workout was considered too dangerous, since it was done while wearing a plastic bag on your head.

Burger King is adding Impossible Foods’ meatless sausage to its breakfast menu. It joins the Impossible Whopper as part of Burger King’s “Impossible To Eat” lineup.

Ground beef sold at Walmart is being recalled for possible E.coli contamination. Plant-based beef substitute is also being recalled for possible contamination with weed killer.

A British woman incubated and hatched three ducklings from eggs she purchased at a supermarket – but later claimed her omelet was terrible.

China removed the pangolin – an animal believed to be a coronavirus carrier – from its list of approved ingredients for ‘traditional Chinese medicine’.  However, they reassured citzens ground-up bat wings will still cure the common cold.

Donald Trump’s niece will write a tell-all book about him, making it an even one-hundred tell-all books about Trump in just four short years.

New Jersey entered Phase Two of its coronavirus recovery plan. Residents are still encouraged to wear face masks as well as eye masks to limit exposure to bikini and speedo clad Jersey Shore bathers who really shouldn’t be wearing them.

Dumbbells and weight plates are sold out at many retailers as gyms remain closed due to the coronavirus. Amazon delivery drivers are getting incredibly ripped throwing the packages on to porches.

90s virtual pet craze Tamagotchi is making a comeback. The Tamagotchi Wonder Garden pet sells for $60 – or, for $100 if you want to hire somebody to take care of it from 9 to 5.

 

 

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