Tuesday Jokes: June 16th

WarnerMedia, owner of HBO, is renaming the ‘HBO Now’ app as ‘HBO’ and eliminating ‘HBO Go’ in favor of ‘HBO Max’ in an attempt to eliminate confusion surrounding the different brands. So, that oughta clear everything up.

New Jersey is requiring police officers that have been fired, suspended or faced disciplinary action to be identified to the general public. Police departments are asking if they can just give the list of cops that haven’t been fired, suspended or disciplined.

Dallas Cowboys running back Ezekiel Elliott tested positive for COVID19, but is in recovery and feeling good. He wanted to thank Philadelphia Eagles fans for sending him cards and letters they’d coughed on.

For the first time ever, a professional video gamer will miss league play because of a thumb injury. He slammed it in the freezer door at his Mom’s house getting pizza rolls.

Taylor Swift said monuments to Confederate soldiers displayed in Tennessee “make her sick”. If the slavery part or seceding from the U.S.A. part aren’t enough for you to want to tear down statues ..there’s that.

The Supreme Court ruled 6-3 that LGBTQ workers are covered under existing civil rights protections against wrongful discrimination and termination. Writing for the majority, conservative justice Neil Gorsuch said “wait…what!?”.

Walmart is eliminating human cashiers in one of its stores in its founding city of Fayettville, Arkansas, claiming it’s easier denying health insurance to robots.

Scientists believe there are 36 intelligent alien civilizations in the Milky Way galaxy – all registered for mail-in voting in the November presidential election.

The Food & Drug Administration approved the first prescription video game, ‘EndeavorRX’ to treat ADHD in kids ages 8 to 12. Already, dozens of 9-and-10-year-olds have been rushed to emergency rooms for overdoses.

T-Mobile confirmed a massive voice and data outage yesterday, despite going unnoticed by most of their customers who considered it just another weekday.


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