Friday Jokes: August 7th

Cadillac introduced its first fully-electric car. It comes with four different preventative features to keep senior citizens from pumping gas in the power outlet.

Jennifer Grey will reprise her iconic role as Baby in an upcoming Dirty Dancing sequel. Patrick Swayze will reprise his iconic role in Ghost.

New York Yankees manager Aaron Boone complained to umpires about Philadelphia Phillies fans blowing air horns outside the stadium during Yankees’ at-bats. The fans said they’re only doing it because they can’t throw batteries 900 feet to home plate.

A waste removal company in the U.K. took three hours clearing trash from a woman’s home, then dumped it all back when she refused to pay. Neighbors said it’s the biggest pile of garbage they’ve seen since Britain’s Got Talent.

A large blackout hit NYC neighborhoods in the Upper West Side and Harlem. Local organizers are seeking permission for a mural to commemorate it.

In a new Lifetime documentary, convicted murderer Jodi Arias’ cellmates say she performed strip teases for male guards in exchange for favorable treatment. Arias said she took her clothes off because horizontal stripes make her look fat.

Upper West Side residents in New York City say the luxury hotels housing homeless men during the pandemic are making the neighborhood unsafe. The hotels are also frustrated by the high volume of room service calls ordering crack.

The price of the new Playstation 5 just leaked – by parents badgered by their 12-year-olds if they could have a $500 advance on their allowance.

Tesla is launching a ‘car wrap’ service, so owners can wrap their cars in colors not offered by the manufacturer, and so owners can just write Look At ME on the wrap.

The owner of travel websites Kayak and says travel won’t be back to normal until a COVID-19 vaccine is available – except for Spirit and Frontier airlines, where flying with sick cheapskates is business as usual.


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