Monday Jokes: August 16th

The Taliban have reportedly taken over the government of Afghanistan. The Afghan Army caved so fast, they’re being made fun of by France.

The situation in Afghanistan is so bad, residents are booking flights to Haiti.

The Taliban painted over posters of women at a Kabul beauty salon – because women are oppressed, and because the Taliban don’t like the look of bangs.

According to data from website Business Insider, the average McDonald’s customer is a white female, between the ages of 41 and 56, with an average household income over $80,000, buying breakfast items … on their way to refill insulin.

Texas’ Supreme Court overruled mask mandates issued for Dallas & San Antonio, giving a victory to lawyers representing the Delta Variant of COVID-19.

Johnny Depp claims that he’s being “boycotted” by Hollywood since a British court ruled he abused ex-wife Amber Heard. Hollywood said there’s no such boycott, and Depp just thinks he’s too good to guest-star on Bob Loves Abishola.

‘Pawn Stars’ Rick Harrison divorced his wife Deanna in the middle of 2020. Apparently they spent the last year haggling over how much he’d pay to buy back her engagement ring.

Rapper Silento, who had a hit with ‘Watch Me (Whip/Nae Nae)’ was charged with felony murder. Cops arresting him told him he had the right to remain Silento.

The U.S. National Highway Traffic Safety Administration is investigating 11 incidents of Tesla vehicles in autopilot mode slamming into emergency vehicles. They believe some of the cars are owned by lawyers chasing ambulances.

A bloody fight broke out in the stands during the Los Angeles Rams/Los Angeles Chargers preseason NFL game. Cops took over a minute to respond because they couldn’t believe anyone cared that much about anything during an NFL preseason game.

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