Tuesday Jokes: September 7th

An Indiana University football player wore a jersey reading ‘INDINIA’ in Saturday’s game. The game marked a career high rushing day, with 120 yards for Indinia Franklin.

A girl died on a Colorado “Haunted Mine Drop” attraction, that plunges riders 110 feet into a mountain cavern. So far, investigators have ruled out ghosts.

A viral video shows a fight between two women on a ferry boat at Disney World’s Magic Kingdom. The fight broke up and EMTs arrived to reattach ears and feathers.

Universities reopened in Afghanistan following the government overthrow by the Taliban, with curtains separating male and female students in classrooms. It wasn’t all good news, as Kabul Tech fell 89-0 to Islamabad in the Middle East Conference Kickoff Classic.

Musk ducks are the only waterfowl capable of vocal learning and expression, according to a decades-old study in Australia. The study captured ducks repeating human phrases, and creating some of their own, like “I’m sick of eating wet bread”.

COVID-19 infection rates in South Dakota shot up 600% since the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally attracted a crowd of 250,000 people in August. Also shooting up – customers of drug-dealing bikers at the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally.

A website where ‘whistleblowers’ can report Texas abortions was shut down for the second time. But it’s okay, because the site was aborted within six weeks of launch.

Richmond, Virginia will remove a statue of Confederate General Robert E. Lee – to make room for a statue of Christopher Columbus that they bought on eBay.

Gymnast Simone Biles replied to criticism over her pulling out of Olympics events, writing “I can’t hear you over my 7 Olympic medals”. Other Olympians were unaware that the medals doubled as wireless Bluetooth speakers.

New studies find evidence of “superhuman” immunity to COVID-19 in some individuals. Oddly enough, none are Trump supporters who died after pledging to never wear masks or get vaccinated.

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