Wednesday Jokes: December 22nd

City College of New York received an anonymous cash donation of $180,000, mailed in a plain cardboard box in 2020 by an alum from Florida who, in a note, wrote they received a CCNY masters in physics, then PhDs in physics and astronomy, but never learned how checking accounts work.

Kimberly Bryant, the founder of Black Girls Code – a non-profit teaching tech skills to young women – was removed as head of the organization amidst ‘allegations of workplace impropriety’. Bryant will transition to her new venture, Black Girls Hooking Up At The Office.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers QB Tom Brady said the low hit that resulted in a season-ending knee injury to WR Chris Godwin should be removed from football – along with any low hits, torso hits, shoulder hits, head hits, and dirty looks directed at Tom Brady.

Saturday Night Live co-creator Lorne Michaels is rumored to be leaving the show in 2024, to focus on Saturday Night Off.

A viral TikTok shows a Dunkin Donuts worker filling an order for coffee with butter in it. The coffee was hard to drink because the customer wanted the butter on top of an everything bagel.

An advertising billionaire left the Mormon church over their stance on LGBTQ rights, saying he thinks gay guys should also be allowed to have six spouses.

The defense rested in the Ghislaine Maxwell trial, with Maxwell’s lawyers saying they really could use a massage after all that standing.

COVID-19 was the third-highest cause of death in the U.S. in 2020, trailing heart disease & cancer. Congressional Republicans introduced legislation to ensure Americans have the right to consume saturated fats and nicotine.

Pete Davidson spent the night at Kim Kardashian’s NYC hotel. Speculation mounted that the two enjoyed reverse-cowgirl sex, as Davidson left the hotel for a hospital, where x-rays revealed several cracked ribs.

Rapper Cardi B gifted husband Offset with a $2 million check at his 30th birthday party. Or, as Offset calls it, two months’ child support.

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