Thursday Jokes: July 28th

Sprite will switch from green to clear bottles in order to make the plastic more recyclable. Meanwhile, Mountain Dew may move exclusively to aluminum cans & bottles so no one ever has to see what it looks like.

Sesame Place theme park is now the target of a class action lawsuit over racial discrimination, accusing costumed characters of ignoring black children. Sesame Place offered no comment through its game show host-turned-attorney, Guy Smiley.

The family of deceased Kyung Ja Kim sued a New Jersey funeral home for $50 million for putting the wrong body in her casket, which they discovered at the church funeral. The funeral home apologized, but asked “what are the odds two different Korean corpses have the last name Kim?”

Google’s Gmail is rolling out a new look to all users, but assures everyone that it will still take 10 minutes to find a draft reply you saved earlier.

Emmy Nominee and ‘Euphoria‘ star Sydney Sweeney said she “won’t stop” doing nude scenes. “NOW she tells me” said Harvey Weinstein.

For the first time ever, Comcast/Xfinity posted a quarterly decline in broadband internet subscribers. CEO Brian Roberts said they remain at 32.2 million broadband customers, thanks to their efforts keeping 250,000 subscribers on hold while they try to cancel service.

Rare footage off the coast of South Africa shows three orcas killing a great white shark to eat its liver. One orca carried the shark, the other two carried the onions.

JetBlue reached an agreement to purchase Spirit Airlines, creating the U.S.’ fifth-largest provider of cancelled flights.

The United States Gross Domestic Product dropped 0.9% in the second quarter, signaling a possible recession. Inflation also caused a drop in U.S.’ consumption of Spam and scrapple, the country’s Grossest Domestic Products.

A South Carolina woman’s doorbell camera captured footage of a bear ringing the bell at 3:30 a.m. She used the speaker to tell the bear to come back at 10 a.m. after her husband left for work.

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