Wednesday Jokes: December 14th

New Zealand banned tobacco purchases to anyone born after 2008. Public schools will have counselors available to help 13-year-olds determine how they can look cool.

Oregon’s Governor Kate Brown commuted the death sentences of the state’s 17 prisoners awaiting execution. Some are relieved to serve life without parole, others are disappointed they won’t ever get that ribeye steak last meal.

Today marks the 10=year anniversary of the Sandy Hook shootings. Or, as InfoWars Alex Jones calls it, Wednesday.

A fan brawl erupted at the Boston Bruins/Arizona Coyotes hockey game last Friday, with one man having the tip of their finger bitten off. The fingertip was located and tossed on the ice in a failed effort to save it.

Good Morning America co-anchors Amy Robach and TJ Holmes have not been together since they were taken off the air for their sexual affair. They’re concerned about getting their jobs back, and more concerned they won’t be shown where to get great last-minute Steals & Deals this holiday season.

China’s hospitals are overrun with new COVID patients after the country loosened restrictions. Worse, patients served Chinese hospital meals are all hungry again a half-hour later.

Researchers determined snakes have a clitoris. “Where?” asked male snakes.

Review website Metacritic released its annual list of the worst video games for the Nintendo Switch console. The Worst Game of the Year was Postal 4, followed by Super Mario Bros Doing Actual Plumbing Jobs.

Patty Jenkins, director of Wonder Woman and Wonder Woman 1984 disputed claims that Warner Bros. studio cancelled Wonder Woman 3 because she walked away from the project. However, Jenkins refused to answer questions while cinched in the Lariat of Truth.

Josie Leinart, wife of former NFL quarterback Matt Leinart, is hosting ‘Women of the League‘, a show where she counsels wives and girlfriends of NFL players. Her first advice is helping the women ask their men why, if they’re millionaires, they have second phones from Boost Mobile.

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