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Skytrax, an airline review group, named Qatar Airways the World’s Best Airline, and Delta Air Lines the Best North American Airline. American Airlines and Frontier received special recognition for Most Creative Use Of Duct Tape.

A Florida woman was arrested after being found nude and “pleasuring herself” in the back seat of a Jeep at an auto dealership. “I’ll take it!” said a customer following his overnight test drive.

Homeland Security chief Alejandro Mayorkas said that 1 in 5 illegal immigrants of the thousands gathered at the Del Rio, Texas border are now ill – a mix of COVID-19, and complications from food donated by local Taco Bell restaurants.

The Philadelphia Flower Show, which was held outdoors in 2021 for the first time due to the pandemic, will be held outdoors again in mid-June, 2022. This year’s theme will be Resuscitating Senior Citizens Experiencing Heat Stroke.

R. Kelly was convicted on all counts of racketeering and sex trafficking. He awaits sentencing and is much less convinced in his belief that he can fly.

French President Emanuel Macron was struck by an egg thrown at him while he attended a food fair. Macron is fine, and happy that the egg was used for something original and not put on a hamburger.

Alexandra Souveneva, 30, is charged with starting one of the large California wildfires, the Fawn Fire. Souveneva was reportedly “hiking to Canada” and started the fire to boil water. Souveneva’s attorney said she’s not good at judging distances or cooking.

Former UFC champion Ronda Rousey welcomed a daughter, her first child with husband Travis Browne. Rousey shared an Instagram snap of the child breastfeeding, then she switched to her right breast because her left had tapped out.

The parents of Brian Laundrie – wanted in the murder of Gabby Petito – called the cops when Dog The Bounty Hunter showed up on their lawn. The Laundries told police they’ve had stray dogs on their property, but that this one is the mangiest.

A Chinese man died of liver failure after he chugged 1.5 liters of Coca-Cola in 10 minutes. In addition to liver trauma, an autopsy revealed his throat suffered severe burns from the minute-long belch before he died.

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Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg was confirmed, making him the first openly gay White House appointee. “Openly” being the operative word, according to former Attorney General Jeff Sessions.

Alejandro Mayorkas was also confirmed as Secretary of Homeland Security, despite the objections of some Republicans, who had been a Mayorkas pain.

The famous HOLLYWOOD sign was changed to HOLLYBOOB by influencers protesting censorship on Instagram. They’re concerned if nudity remains banned on Instagram, people won’t know where to find it on the Internet.

Comcast will double the speed of its Internet Essentials broadband service for low-income households, allowing more families than ever the chance to get their cam-girl or Only Fans careers off the ground.

Elon Musk’s Neuralink – which has wired a monkey’s brain to play video games using only its mind – is preparing for human trials. Apparently the monkey is tired of playing video games by himself.

EA Sports will release a new college football video game. To keep from paying colleges and players for their name & likeness, Every team will be called Football University and every player’s name will be Football Guy.

Scientists claim COVID-19 lockdowns caused a reduction in harmful emissions that block sunlight, thereby warming the planet. While others believe the higher temperatures result from housebound couples screwing with the thermostat.

Researchers studying spiders say they use ‘silk pulleys’ to raise large prey off the ground once they’ve been captured. Once the prey is secured, they celebrate with music from the piano they lifted into the web.

Experts say people dying after getting the COVID-19 vaccine doesn’t mean the vaccine is deadly. However, being 98 years old kind of is.

Taco Bell introduced customizable $5 Cravings Boxes, with 18 possible meal combinations, and one possible gastrointestinal outcome.