Best Buy recalled over 700,000 air fryers because of a safety risk, with one reportedly causing burns to a child’s leg. Police also arrested a man accused of trying to eat a child’s leg.

The Kardashian family asked a judge to dismiss Blac Chyna’s defamation lawsuit against the family. Or, at the very least, to let them take pictures of each other in the courtroom since they each went three hours without posting anything to Instagram.

JC Penney made an $8.6 billion offer to buy Kohl’s. The deal is subject to antitrust review since the merged store would effectively corner the market on dumpy mom outfits.

General Motors announced they’ll launch a fully-electric Corvette around the 2024 model year, promising it’ll go from Zero to Totaled On A Telephone Pole in several seconds.

China will test 20 million citizens in an effort to lift the lockdown in Shanghai. The tests will take a couple of days, the hard part is getting everyone the pagers to let them know it’s their turn.

Delta Airlines will start paying flight attendants during boarding, versus when the aircraft door closes. Passengers are now encouraged to have their drunken fistfights before departure so the crew gets paid more during the delay.

Following the death of Japan’s 119-year-old Kane Tanaka, a French nun called Sister Andre is now the World’s Oldest Person at 118 years, 73 days. Sister Andre said she’s considering ending her career as a nun so she can finally have sex.

A doorbell camera captured an alligator scratching the door of a Florida home. Then a female alligator opened the door and said she wasn’t letting him in until he sobered up.

A Little League baseball game in South Carolina was halted due to gunshots. The game resumed after the kid in right field said the gun went off while he was cleaning it.

63-year-old Madonna posted on Instagram, wearing fishnet tights with her legs spread and grabbing her crotch. She captioned the photo “found my car keys”.

Data from insurance industry website Insurify shows that, of the seven most popular vehicles owned by drivers withar DUI, seven are pickup trucks. Owners say it’s because of the convenience transporting cases of beer and injured pedestrians.

Threat assessmnent experts cite an increased risk of violence posed by “incels” – involuntary celibate men frustrated they can’t have sexual relationships with women. It’s so bad, threat levels have been elevated to Code Red for every ComicCon this summer.

The European Union stripped Russia of “Most Favored Nation” trade status. Emails sent to Russian households inform buyers their UPS shipment is scheduled to arrive ‘Never’.

Russia is seizing hundreds of Boeing & Airbus passenger jets grounded in the country. Spirit Airlines is pleased to announce new 29-Ruble SuperSaver flights between Moscow and St. Petersburg.

37 million people in China are in COVID lockdown – leading to immense stress in households that have already reached their two-child limit.

Dolly Parton refused her nomination to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, and also refused to endorse the write-in candidate seeking to take her spot on the ballot, Lou Bega.

Tom Brady’s return to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers has put his feature film project ‘80 For Brady‘ in question. That, and Jane Fonda’s decision to return to making leotard & leg warmer aerobics videos.

A Wisconsin bird flu outbreak will require the culling of 2.75 million chickens – as 300 Wisconsin fire departments band together for a world record barbecue.

A new study claims sleeping with even a small amount of light on harms your heart health. The study cites audience heart attacks suffered falling asleep during showings of three-hours-long ‘The Batman’.

Sandra Bullock announced she’s “taking a break” from acting. Viewers of her last few movies announced “that’s a terrific idea”.