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Walmart is now offering mammograms at certain locations. Medical technicians have already told several dozen women that the lump is Crunch & Munch they spilled down their sweatshirt.

Amy Schumer revealed she has Cushing’s Syndrome, inflammation caused by unusally high levels of steroids in the body. She’s expected to recover, but had to cancel her tryout with the New York Jets.

Alaska’s Gates Of The Arctic is the country’s least-visited national park. It has no roads, no trails, no cell phone service, temperatures that reach -50 degrees Farenheit in the winter, and rocky ground that makes it hard to bury the body of the person you brought there.

Journalists are calling for the NFL to fly prospects attending the NFL Scouting Combine in Indianapolis in first class, since many are huge linemen. That, and they’re almost killing people in Spirit Airlines’ mandatory coach-class fistfights.

A woman in Ireland lost an injury settlement after video showed her winning a Christmas tree throwing contest, then throwing away the $800,000 she’d won in the settlement.

A study by finance company GOBankingRates finds a $150,000 salary categorizes you as “lower middle class” in areas of the U.S. such as San Francisco and Northern Virginia. However, it makes you King Of Mississippi, despite still being low class.

Wendy’s is planning on “surge pricing” for burgers at peak-demand times of day, saying prices could increase by $1 at lunch rush, then go back down after you finish an entire large combo & swear you’ll never eat there again.

A man died after setting himself on fire outside of the Israeli embassy, yelling “free palestine”. His mother said she now understands why he ignored her advice to wear a sweater.

A runaway freight train in India traveled nearly 45 miles without a driver, and was stopped after workers placed stones on the tracks – this, following their initial plan to get a goat on board to stop it was thwarted when it ate the throttle.

A customer in Ohio was mistakenly charged $1,000 for a Subway sandwich. So far they haven’t refunded her money because she hasn’t provided Subway with proof that the sandwich wasn’t 200 feet long.

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Pope Francis said that sins of the flesh are not the most serious, referring to sex outside marriage. Catholic priests – who can’t be married – are interpreting this opinion as the ultimate green light.

Comcast launched YouTube TV on its broadband-only streaming service, for those people who’ve always wondered what it’s like to say “my YouTube went out”.

Southeast U.S. grocery chain Publix limited purchase of more items at its stores, including pie crusts, whipping cream, hashbrowns and cooking oil. Oddly enough, southerners face no restrictions on healthy food.

Scientists developed a 46-question test that cat owners can complete to tell if their cat is a psychopath. They admit the test is long, but feel most cat owners aren’t too busy with dates on evenings and weekends.

The Ghislaine Maxwell trial was cut short on Thursday when one of the attorneys became ill. Participants were sent home, despite Maxwell offering to have a teenage girl come to examine the lawyer.

Wisconsin GOP Senator Ron Johnson falsely claimed mouthwash could kill COVID-19. “How would you know?” said his wife, who smells his breath regularly.

A jury found actor Jussie Smollett guilty of falsely reporting a hate crime. He now faces charges of falsely reporting his acquittal.

Kanye West used a concert appearance to ask estranged wife Kim Kardashian to “run right back” to him. Kardashian speculated a return is unlikely, since Kanye failed tryouts for both the Los Angeles Lakers and Saturday Night Live.

A new study found healthy men between the ages of 20 and 65 who vaped nicotine doubled their risk of erectile dysfunction. The vapers who struggled with erections switched to regular cigarettes so at least they could look cool.

Alec Baldwin took his wife and kids Christmas tree shopping, but denies knowing how any of the trees died.