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IKEA debuted their Home of Tomorrow concept, envisioning how people will be living in the year 2050, when they finish assembling furniture they bought this week.

Columbus Police Officers subdued a non-violent double-amputee protestor and took off his prosthetic legs. “I’ll take one of those” said the lawyer he later hired to sue the cops.

The Barcelona Opera performed with an audience of 2,300 plants in their theatre’s seats. 1,900 of the plants died of boredom.

Comedian D.L. Hughley tested positive for COVID-19 after collapsing onstage during a performance at Zanies comedy club in Nashville. The club booked Rob Schneider for four shows this weekend to keep people away.

The National Hockey League will begin its Stanley Cup Playoff tournament on July 30th, in hub cities that can still make ice.

Michael Keaton is reportedly in talks to return as Batman in an upcoming movie about The Flash. The story centers around Batman mentoring The Flash during lightning-fast trips to and from the senior center.

A homeowner in Sunbury, PA spray-painted WIGHTE LIVES MATTER on their own picket fence. No charges were filed against the homeowner, Wilma Wighte.

A movement is underway to change the name of The Masters golf tournament, saying it’s rooted in slavery.  Ideas include reverting to its pre-1939 name, Augusta National Invitational, or the less-popular The Supervisors.

The Pennsylvania Board of Cosmetology is rejecting licenses for hair stylists and eyebrow technicians because of past misdemeanor criminal convictions. Residents are urged to keep a clean driving record and not steal if they want to ruin someone’s hair & makeup.

Email software company Boomerang claims emails that close with a “thankful message” are returned at a 36% higher rate. Also, emails that close with “go f*** yourself” are returned at a 98% higher rate.

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Researchers at MIT have created tiny transforming robots, called ‘Primers’, outfitted with exoskeletons that change shape — allowing them to swim, walk, roll, glide..and star in at least five terrible movies.

According to a new survey from YouGov Omnibus, half of American adults believe having sex with robots will become common in the next 50 years; and 80% of Japanese adults believe having sex with robots will become common in the next 30 minutes.

Comedian DL Hughley said on his radio show that it’s easier to buy 10 guns than it is to buy two packs of Sudafed. An NRA spokesman replied, saying that’s because guns are proven to be more effective at clearing nasal congestion.

President Trump hosted a meeting at the White House to commemorate October as Hispanic Heritage Month. He asked if any of the Hispanic women in attendance had breast cancer so he could knock out two meetings at once.

Sesame Street launched new video tools to help children coping with trauma, starting with “Elmo Totally Just Can’t Even Right Now” and “Oscar The Grouch Wasn’t Carrying Flood Insurance“.

The Supreme Court ruled that employers can’t be forced to cover birth control as part of their health insurance offerings, so if you have your eye on that hot cashier at Hobby Lobby, budget for condoms.

AOL Instant Messenger will shut down for good in December, feted with a gala sendoff from sex cam models who retired on the money they made there.

Netflix is raising prices on its flagship service from $11.99/month to $13.99/month; in a move expected to draw outrage from cord-cutting millennials who spend $5/day on coffee.

Top CIA officials were quoted this week saying that North Korea’s Kim Jong Un is a ‘rational actor’ with ‘long term goals’ – and that he is ‘not crazy’. Asked if they were willing to say the same things about President Trump, they looked at their phones and said they had to take a call.

Lin Manuel-Miranda is set to release a new song ‘Almost Like Praying’ to benefit Puerto Rico disaster relief.  You have to wait six months to hear it at a cost of $500.