The Cleveland Browns fired head coach Freddie Kitchens, leaving him unemployed, but free to leave Cleveland.

Amazon now has 200,000 robots working in warehouses, double the number they had a year ago. They claim robots free up human workers to do what they do best – solve problems, think on their feet, and lose their jobs.

Congress passed the Television Viewer Protection Act of 2019, requiring cable tv operators to disclose the full price of cable at the time a customer signs up, as well as the price a day later, when they increase it.

Business Insider asked flight attendants from major U.S. airlines to name their favorite jet aircraft to fly & work on. The Airbus A321 tied for first along with ‘whichever one has the fewest dopes sitting in it’.

Fox News may go off the air for customers of 750 independent cable companies unless a new fee agreement is reached by January 31st. This worries executives at the cable companies, and grandchildren of racist senior citizens who may have to talk to their grandparents if there’s nothing they’ll watch on tv.

Authorities in Florida struck a 70-year-old grandmother three times with a stun gun after she refused to let cops search her home for her grandson. She was charged with obstruction, battery on a police officer, and being a pretty poor conductor of electricity.

Former President Barack Obama shared his annual list of favorite books for 2019. President Donald Trump also listed his favorite books – the ones stacked under the tv remote.

Actress Mandy Moore thanked American Airlines for tracking down her iPad that she mistakenly left on a plane. They’re still working on finding her dog.

Sharon Stone was reportedly kicked off the dating app Bumble – where women initiate contact with prospective dates – when men claimed her profile was fake. Stone was reinstated, then kicked off again, claiming her Total Recall profile pics were from last week.

In just six seconds, a shooter opened fire on a church service in Texas, then was shot dead himself by churchgoers. Those who downed the initial shooter said their quick response came from altar boy training.

 

A command for iPhones “Siri I’m getting pulled over” reportedly video records police and texts a contact to let them know what’s happening. Siri then gives tips on where to hide your drugs and directions for the upcoming high-speed chase.

Referees in Monday’s Steelers/Dolphins game took ten minutes to review a coaches challenge of an apparent first down. They said it took so long because as they reviewed video, they switched channels to see who was eliminated on Dancing With The Stars.

O.J. Simpson said the 2-5 Cleveland Browns should hire University of Michigan coach Jim Harbaugh to replace their current head coach Freddie Kitchens after they stab Kitchens to death.

Politicians criticized the Washington crowd at the World Series for booing and chanting “lock him up” at President Trump. A fan etiquette expert from Philadelphia said the proper behavior was to throw batteries or, if seated close enough to the President, vomit on him.

KMart in Australia pulled a children’s ‘Bride’ Halloween costume from its shelves after protests from parents. They say the costumes will either be destroyed, or shipped to Mississippi at the request of multiple wedding planners.

Actor/wrestler John Cena said that his dating philosophy isn’t ‘gender specific’ – that he’s willing to date both women and girls.

Caitlyn Jenner turned 70, but says she feels like a five-year-old woman.

Apple released iOS 13.2, including 398 new emoji, making it even easier for you to give up looking for the one you want.

Juul is eliminating 500 jobs. Impacted employees waiting to hear about their severance packages are being told “vape ’em if you got ’em.”

Director Olivia Wilde criticized Delta Airlines for showing an in-flight version of her film ‘Booksmart’ that edited out girls kissing and the word lesbian. A Delta spokesperson said the move was to distract people from the rest of the awful Delta inflight experience.