Moderna said its COVID vaccine for children aged 6 months to 5 years is effective in preventing severe effects of the virus. In fact, it’s so effective, your kids will be screaming for it.

The FDA recalled three blood pressure medications because they may cause cancer. Although you can still get them if you have a BadRX card.

A North Carolina teacher resigned after a student recorded audio of him calling them “idiots”, in what’s being called one of the worst graduation speeches ever.

U.S. airlines are asking the FAA to end the mask mandate, saying it’s the sixth-biggest complaint passengers have about flying.

Police in Upper Moreland, Pennsylvania successfully removed a soda can stuck on the head of a neighborhood skunk, but currently have no leads on the two carjackings that happened while they were busy.

New images from an international space telescope show ORCs, or “odd radio circles”, bigger than a galaxy. The 10th astronaut caller in to the radio circle wins Styx tickets.

UFC fighter Jorge Masvidal was arrested after punching rival Colby Covington outside a Miami restaurant, breaking his tooth. Covington returned inside, then a woman in a bikini paraded around the sidewalk holding a card reading ‘Round 2’ before they resumed fighting.

Spinosaurus – the biggest carnivorous dinosaur ever, larger than a T Rex – was amphibious and hunted prey underwater. Although it preferred hunting on land, because it hated how it looked in a swimsuit.

University of Arizona basketball player Benn Mathurin apologized to a Texas Christian University cheerleader, whose breast he accidentally touched leaving the court after his team’s victory. The cheerleader hasn’t responded, but was awarded two free throws.

Leah Shutkever of England broke the Guinness World Record by eating 19 chicken nuggets in one minute. Her record was broken seconds later by some guy at a red light after hitting the McDonald’s drive-thru at 1a.m.

Actor Bruce Willis was kicked out of a Rite Aid pharmacy for refusing to wear a face mask, so he still doesn’t know how much money he can save with his GoodRX card.

Congress is voting to impeach Donald Trump. CSPAN is reminding viewers that this is original content, not a rerun.

Anti-Trump activists are pledging $50 Million to Republicans who support impeachment. Texas Representative Louie Gohmert stepped down and will yield his seat to his long-lost anti-Trump triplet brothers, Hewey and Dewey Gohmert.

After a photo of a lookalike went viral, Chuck Norris’ agent said the actor was not at the January 6th DC riots. Millions of Americans were fooled, and also surprised that Chuck Norris still has an agent.

The U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service is investigating how a protected manatee in Florida ended up with the word TRUMP etched into the algae on its skin. Their first step was confirming that it was, indeed, a manatee, and not Chris Christie.

New York City is cancelling all contracts with the Trump Organization. Trump managed two NYC skating rinks, a golf course, the Central Park carousel, and a big-ticket roster of high-priced call girls.

Ellen Degeneres said she found out she’d tested positive for COVID-19 in December while backstage at her talk show. She returned to the show yesterday to find the production assistant who gave her the bad news – and fired them.

General Motors debuted a flying concept car, the Cadillac Halo. Senior citizens are encouraged to get on the waiting list and be the first to crash a Halo in to their garage door.

YouTube took down newly-uploaded video content from Donald Trump and gave his account one ‘strike’, or a 7-day ban. Content moderators say he isn’t quite ready yet for standup comedy.

Gaming company Razer is using vending machines to give away free face masks in Singapore, leading to a 1000% increase in canings to pedestrians who toss them on the sidewalk.