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Katelyn McClure and Mark D’Amico – accused of stealing from the $400,000 donations in the GoFundMe account they’d set up for Johnny Bobbitt, Jr, who’d helped a stranded McClure – will “likely” face criminal charges. McClure & D’Amico are exploring whether to set up another GoFundMe to donate money to a good lawyer.

A treasure of 300 Roman-era gold coins dating from 474 B.C. was found underneath an old Italian theater by a construction crew. One of the workers was hospitalized after attempting to eat the chocolate inside of one.

Evacuations are underway in the Carolinas as Hurricane Florence is estimated to be a Category 4 hurricane when it makes landfall…and trees fall…and just about everything fall.

President Trump spoke in Shanksville, PA at the September 11 memorial there for United Airlines Flight 93, calling the tragedy ‘a moment when America fought back’. Americans joined together in private reflection regarding that, and November, 2016, a tragedy remembered as ‘a moment when America gave up.’

In an interview with GQ magazine, Paul McCartney said that he, John Lennon and some friends were so bored in their pre-Beatles days that they would turn out the lights and masturbate at the same time. McCartney said it was around this time that he discovered he liked to play his instrument left-handed.

Rumors are circulating regarding a possible breakup between pro golfer Dustin Johnson and his fiancée, Paulina Gretzky. Johnson has been linked to a member of his home club, Yassie Safai. Safai may be driving a wedge between Johnson and Gretzky, while Johnson has yet to deny playing a 2nd hole.

Kourtney Kardashian shared a racy photo of herself in a Burberry bikini top, and claimed in a caption that she is able to maintain a body weight of 98 pounds by jumping on a box 30 times a day. In a related story, her sister Khloe’s cheating boyfriend Tristan Thompson said during Cleveland Cavaliers road trips, he jumps on up to 30 boxes a week.

A co-founder of Tek Dry, a company that dries out waterlogged personal electronics, says that the first thing you should do if your phone becomes wet is to shut it off until it’s dry. The second thing to do is get ready to answer 20 questions from your wife or girlfriend about why you weren’t answering your phone.

Educators are debating the need to have opioid-overdose-reducing drug Narcan in elementary schools. For use on the kids, anyway.

New research funded by venture capital billionaire Peter Thiel suggests that age-related illnesses could be lessened with transfusions of younger-persons’ blood. Thiel presented the findings in his basement, at 2a.m., while wearing a black cape.

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The NFL Arizona Cardinals opened their season yesterday at home in newly-renamed State Farm Stadium. It used to be called University of Phoenix Stadium, but the for-profit college dropped out.

Horror movie ‘The Nun’ led the weekend box office with a huge $53.5 million opening weekend. The Vatican is considering the production of a sequel, ‘The Priest’, to fund child abuse settlements.

Actress Olivia Munn claims that she was shunned by co-stars in her new film ‘The Predator’, for calling out a male cast member as a registered sex offender. Ironically, he wasn’t playing the title character.

North Korea marked its 70th Anniversary with a huge military parade. Watchers noticed that nuclear missiles weren’t showed off in the parade; it’s unclear whether this was a sign of North Korean decnuclearization, or if the missiles were en route to vacation in Hawaii.

CBS Entertainment CEO Les Moonves stepped down as three more women leveled accusations of sexual harassment against the exec. Moonves is expected to remain out of the spotlight, but may be redeemed as a guest in an upcoming episode of new CBS show ‘God Friended Me.’

Coincidentally, today is the season premiere of Moonves’ wife Julie Chen’s afternoon show ‘The Talk’ – or, as it’s now known, ‘The Talk About My Husband’s Penis’.

Subway’s CEO says that the company’s famous $5 Footlong is going away – but will live on forever in the material of terrible stand up comedians.

NFL fans tweeted their hatred of a new Carrie Underwood ‘Sunday Night Football on NBC’ theme song, ‘Game On’. It was the first time cable operators reported service outages due to customers’ simultaneous pressing of the Mute button.

President Trump tweeted that he would ‘write the real book’ to set the record straight on his administration, following claims of dysfunction set forth in Bob Woodward’s upcoming book, ‘Fear’. Trump then asked Sean Hannity if he wants to write a book.

A couple who raised $400,000 on GoFundMe for a homeless addict are being investigated for spending much of the money on themselves. Cops confiscated items from the couple, including a BMW and drugs, which they bought because they wanted get the homeless guy’s Xmas presents early.