Leonard Serrani, owner of a Brazilian waxing salon in Wayne Township, PA, is accused of inappropriate contact with multiple clients, who accuse him of waxing off.

Lehigh University’s ‘Lehigh Lightsaber Club’ students commemorated May 4th, ‘Star Wars Day’ with a costumed gathering. In turn, the Lehigh University football team marked the occasion by beating up everyone in the Lightsaber Club.

Fans accuse Kardashian matriarch-slash-‘momager’ Kris Jenner of ‘Ozempic body’ after seeing photos showing her weight loss. Jenner denies using the injection, saying she had her fat liposuctioned out so her daughters could fill their lips with it.

The leader of Wagner Group, a team of Russian mercenaries hired to fight in the attempted takeover of Ukraine, said he’s pulling his fighters out due to lack of ammunition. They were seen boarding trucks leaving Ukraine’s Bakhmut region after turning in their Nerf guns.

A jury found Ed Sheeran not guilty of plagiarizing Marvin Gaye’s ‘Let’s Get It On‘. Now, jurors are suing for emotional damages after having to listen to Sheeran repeatedly sing during his testimony.

A New Zealand woman discovered the pimple on the end of her nose was cancerous. She’s in good health after a surgical team popped her cancer.

Pranksters mowed the shape of a giant penis into a large lawn where a party for King Charles’ Coronation is set to take place. It’s expected to be the second-biggest dick at the party after Piers Morgan.

A 51-year-old New York woman was arrested twice for drunk driving in the span of three hours. The arresting officer said she failed the second breathalyzer, but honestly aced the second field sobriety test because she’d been practicing.

A Florida man entered a women’s poker tournament at the Seminole Hard Rock Casino and won. His good luck continued when he met a woman after collecting his winnings and pulled off an inside straight.

Jenny Craig is closing for good. The business will lose 1,000 people, or about 150,000 pounds.

White House Communications Director Hope Hicks acknowledged during questioning by the House Intelligence Committee that she sometimes tells ‘white lies’ – the most frequent being “great idea, sir” and “your hair looks great.”

Dick’s Sporting Goods announced that they will no longer sell assault-style weapons or high-capacity ammo magazines, but their highly-trained staff will happily show you the best ways to kill somebody with a softball bat or tennis racquet.

  • Meanwhile Cabela’s kicked off their annual High Capacity Magazine & Armor Piercing Bullet Blowout.

White House Senior Adviser Jared Kushner was stripped of his Top Secret Security Clearance by White House Chief of Staff John Kelly, who just got himself totally uninvited to Passover Seder.

Kushner was informed of his security clearance downgrade prior to his attendance at a meeting on prison reform, where he was picking out a mattress and sheets for his cell.

Faculty at Lehigh University voted to rescind the Honorary Degree given to Donald Trump in 1988.  Trump was seen with aides frantically updating his resume before his next big interview.

White House Senior Policy Adviser Stephen Miller was caught sleeping during a speech by Trump regarding school safety – and in doing so, finally giving White House staffers something to say they have in common with Stephen Miller.

The body of deceased Pastor Billy Graham will lie in honor at the U.S. Capitol on Wednesday.  President Trump will attend memorial services for Graham, then lie in dishonor on Twitter.

Amazon is acquiring Ring, a maker of video doorbells and security cameras, and will partner with Ring on a new Amazon Prime series ‘Best Of Stolen Amazon Delivery Videos’.

At a Dolce & Gabbana show during Fashion Week in Milan, airborne drones modeled Dolce & Gabbana purses, flying them up and down the runway. After the show, the drones were seen vomiting oil after being told they needed to lose weight.