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A judge blocked the proposed merger of Spirit and Jet Blue airlines, saying it could harm consumers. Lawyers for Spirit argued the merger couldn’t possibly harm consumers more than flying Spirit Airlines.

Costco is testing a new system requiring members to scan their membership card to enter – and requiring them to scan $200 worth of bulk-packaged crap to exit.

Google is upgrading Google Maps so the app will work in underground tunnels. This is great news if you’re a driver who’s somehow worried about getting lost while driving in a tunnel

According to a new survey, longtime Tinder users say the app has been bad for their mental health, despite their genitals never being happier.

A 10-year-old boy was attacked at a Bahamas resort during a “swim with the sharks”. Not only did he get to swim with the sharks, he also got a free helicopter ride.

The state of Virginia is warning of measles exposure from a traveler who passed through Dulles Airport on January 3rd and Reagan Airport on January 4th. The measles achieved Platinum status on United.

SpaceX is holding a charity auction, with bidding starting at $15,000 to send an item to the International Space Station for a month. So far, the high bidder is Melania Trump, who won’t say who or what she’s sending.

Tim Hortons Donut shops in Buffalo are accused of making employees violate a travel ban during a blizzard to come to work. Shop owners said they did it because police were still working.

Imprisoned singer R. Kelly said he wasn’t aware he lost a $10.5 million judgement from women who claimed he victimized them, and that his illiteracy keeps him from understanding legal proceedings. As an example, Kelly claims he just learned his middle name is P.

Royal Caribbean took possession of the world’s largest cruise ship, the Icon Of The Seas. It has 20 decks, weighs 258,000 tons, and can accommodate 1,000 people vomiting at the same time.

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The Food & Drug Administration is planning to ban the sale of menthol cigarettes, a move that menthol smokers are calling “Not Kool”.

Philadelphia first responders rescued a woman who drove her car off of Freedom Pier into the Delaware River. She was rushed to an area hospital and informed that she failed the parallel parking segment of her driver’s test.

Princess Cruise line’s flagship Ruby Princess vessel is under investigation by the CDC after 37 passengers tested positive for COVID. They were given new COVID tests where a stick is held in front of their mouth as they vomit over the rail with norovirus.

Vladimir Putin accepted an invitation to the G20 Summit in Bali, Indonesia. He requested a block of hotel rooms for himself and fifty food tasters.

James Corden announced he’s leaving CBS’ ‘The Late Late Show’ in 2023, as viewers wonder if he could possibly do it Early Early.

Caitlyn Jenner called women’s collegiate swimming champion Lia Thomas “one of the worst things” to happen to the trans community. Jenner said she spoke from authority, as she is objectively the worst thing to happen to the trans community.

A man participating in research at University of Maryland drank a fecal matter smoothie to give him dystentery. He was paid $7,000 for participating in the study, and $5 to reimburse him for the smoothie he bought at Sonic.

Cancer Council brand sunscreen was recalled by the Consumer Product Safety Commission because it contains benzene, a known carcinogen. Cancer Council executives learned of the recall while they accepted a Truth In Advertising Award.

Measles cases are up 80% globally. Health officials say they’ll continue to promote vaccination to at-risk individuals until they’re red-in-the-face.

A Florida man was arrested after a passenger in his golf cart died after the cart tipped over and he was thrown into traffic. The man failed a field sobriety test and was charged with manslaughter and GCUI.

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Darrell “Dusty” Crawford of Montana was revealed to have the oldest DNA on the continent, verfiable with 99% accuracy of going back 55 generations. He decided to get tested after receiving a letter from someone claiming to be his long-lost stegasaurus cousin.

Lady Gaga stripped down to her underwear on the red carpet at the Met Gala. “Put some clothes on!” said an onlooker, handing her a pound of sliced ham.

Google and Apple removed three dating apps from their respective app stores because the FTC said they could be used to target children — leaving hundreds of fourth graders scrambling for a new way to find dates to the big dance in the gym this weekend.

The FCC is warning people about the One Ring Robocall – where scammers call from an international number and hang up, hoping you’ll call back and be gouged with call charges. This is not to be confused with the One Ring Bootycall, where your ex-boyfriend calls you and hangs up when a guy answers the phone.

A new study claims that severe alcohol-related liver disease is on the rise, especially in young adults. Chalk up another victory for the makers of Bud Light Lime-A-Rita.

Democratic presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg suggested that if God supported a political party, that it wouldn’t be the Republicans — overlooking the idea that if there really was a God, she or he could just get whatever they wanted as an Independent.

Cynthia Struble, a 64-year-old American Airlines flight attendant, was stopped from working a flight out of London Heathrow Airport for a blood-alcohol level four times the legal limit. She failed a sobriety test, pointing to lavatories instead of exits.

The world’s fastest supercomputer, dubbed Frontier, will be built in the U.S. by 2021. It will be able to perform 1.5 quintillion calculations per second — making it capable of updating an Apple operating system in just under 45 minutes.

The Centers for Disease Control commented on prediabetes, a condition affecting millions of Americans with high blood sugar, but not high enough to be Type 2 diabetes. They recommend specific lifestyle changes, such as avoiding the $5 box at Popeye’s.

The CDC also issued a list of four groups at highest risk to contract measles, based on the current outbreak. They are: young children, unvaccinated travelers, pregnant women, and the Brady Bunch in that episode antivaxxers keep harping about.