Six Flags in San Antonio, Texas is set to open the first Wonder Woman roller coaster. It’s not very tall, but it has great curves.

  • The ride will be called Wonder Woman – Lasso of Truth. Guys can buy pictures of their girlfriends slapping them while on the coaster, as they helplessly blurt out the names of other girls they’d rather be riding it with.

Lara Trump, President Trump’s daughter-in-law, is the host of  a “news” video airing on Trump’s Facebook page. The video, meant to tout the Trump Administration’s accomplishments of the prior week, is set to air every six months.

  • No official name for the video yet, though the Trump camp is said to be fond of ‘Face News’.

NBC announced that Sylvester Stallone will be a guest on their hit series ‘This Is Us’, or as Stallone calls it, ‘Dishes Uh’. Insiders say Stallone will make 3 really great guest appearances, then another 3 or 4 really corny ones that you’ll never admit to watching.

The 1997 Honda Accord and the 1998 Honda Civic were the most-stolen vehicles in 2016. Honda’s CEO accepted the award from the editors of ‘Hot Car & Getaway Driver’ Magazine.

  • 2006 Ford Pickups rounded out the Top 3 most stolen. Thieves praised the payload of the Ford, saying it’s big enough to hold a 1998 Honda Civic.

Kissimmee and St Cloud, Florida are the first U.S. cities to experiment with using underground dumpsters to collect and hold city trash. Other Florida cities are balking at the half-million dollar expense, saying they’ll just wait and make underground dumpsters out of the sinkholes that open up.

Transcripts of Trump’s conversations with leaders of Australia & Mexico leaked to the press, including one in which Trump called New Hampshire a “drug infested den”. In Trump’s defense, he saw the slogan on New Hampshire license plates.

The Kennedy Center announced its 2017 honorees, including Gloria Estefan, LL Cool J, Lionel Richie and Norman Lear. After the list was read, Trump hurriedly made calls to soothe the hurt feelings of devastated artists Kid Rock & Ted Nugent.

CEO Shari McCoy is resigning from Avon, saying that while she will no longer be an Avon Lady, she looks forward to new challenges selling crap out of the trunk of her car.

 

 

 

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