Thursday Jokes: November 8

The White House revoked the credentials of CNN’s Jim Acosta, following his tense exchange at a press conference with President Trump, when Acosta touched the arm of an intern attempting to take his mic. “Touching the White House interns is forbidden unless you’re the President” said Sarah Huckabee Sanders.

Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg was hospitalized, as her doctors said she suffered three fractured ribs in a fall. Justices Gorsuch, Kavanaugh, Thomas & Roberts wrote their dissent that the ribs weren’t fractured after all.

Attorney General Jeff Sessions was effectively fired, submitting a resignation letter at the request of President Trump on Wednesday. Trump supposedly authored the letter on Monday, but it took Sessions & staff two days to correct the spelling and grammar errors.

Among the candidates to replace Sessions as Attorney General — former NJ Governor and Trump Transition Team member Chris Christie. Adding Christie to Trump’s staff is believed to be an inside route to getting the White House one of those black ‘Free McDonald’s For Life’ cards.

Following a worldwide employee protest last week, Google is announcing new policies around sexual harassment in the workplace — doing so via one of the most uncomfortable Google Doodles you’ll ever watch.

Former reality tv star Anna Duggar sparked rumors of her being pregnant with her sixth child after video showed her with what could be a baby bump. Other Duggar women sparked bigger rumors after videos showed them with flat stomachs, shocking the world by not being pregnant for a couple of weeks.

Brody Roybal, two-time USA Paralympic sled hockey gold medalist, climbed Chicago’s Willis Tower’s 2,149 stairs using his upper body, arms & hands on Sunday. No word on when the elevators will be fixed.

Taco Bell announced “Party By Taco Bell”, a program that will allow people to book small gatherings in Taco Bell locations between November 24 and December 22. Party By Taco Bell can be used by families, groups of friends, or companies looking for a cheap way to say how much they hate their employees.

Reddit’s ‘Apple’ community is flooded with complaints over the company nickel-and-diming their users with charges for cloud storage, dongles and other fees making it more expensive to send penis pics to disgusted women.

Walmart announced its Black Friday electronics deals. They’ll start as early as 10pm on Thanksgiving night on Walmart.com, or via stampede in-person at Midnight.

 

 

2 Comments

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  1. P.S. is there a way to get daily reminders on my phone about your jokes. I often forget when I’m not working a desk job to look at a website! I wish this was an app. Like my AA meeting calender. Ya know what Chris? FUCK you. I see the face youre making reading this

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