Thursday Jokes: December 26th

Hip-hop star Megan Thee Stallion told Essence magazine about spending her first Christmas without her mother. Asked if she was sad, Thee Stallion clomped once for ‘yes’.

The last solar eclipse of the year, not visible in North America, was viewable via live streams and YouTube. It’s the first eclipse you had to skip ads to see.

The same-sex kiss in Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, was edited out for cinemas in Singapore. It was either that, or the gay couple had to accept their punishment being candy caned.

Steamboat Geyser in Yellowstone National Park broke a record, erupting 47 times in 2019. Steamboat thanked Geyagra.

According to the New England Journal of Medicine, eating in a 6-hour window and fasting for 18 hours may help you live longer, provided the 6 hours doesn’t include a stop at Checkers.

A newly married 26-year-old woman was charged with defrauding her 77-year-old husband, cashing checks for almost $1 million. On the same day, she was arraigned & held on bail, and her story was made into a Lifetime tv movie.

Leonardo Dicaprio’s mother is reportedly worried that if he remains noncomittal, Leo will drive model/girlfriend Camilla Morrone away. For his part, Leo is worried his model/girlfriend won’t take the hint.

Miley Cyrus settled her divorce from Liam Hemsworth on what would have been their 1-year anniversary. Appropriate, since the traditional First Anniversary gift is Paper.

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian gave their daughter North a coat once owned by Michael Jackson as a gift for her 6th birthday. They then rushed her to the ER after she ate the quaaludes she found in the pockets.

University of Memphis Athletic Director Laird Veitch wished his former head football coach Mike Norvell well in his new job at Florida State, telling FSU officials they “hit a home run”. Veitch added “I’m not good at sports metaphors.”



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