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Hilaria Baldwin said she’s dealing with “mama guilt” after she and husband Alec welcomed a 7th child together, concerned about spending enough time with each of them. Alec is dealing with “papa guilt” – a potential involuntary manslaughter conviction.

Megan Thee Stallion created a website that lists mental health resources for her fans. Although she points out it’s not for people crazy about big tits and asses.

Hurricane Ian struck Cuba and is making its way toward the Gulf Coast. The bad news is potential destruction; the good news is the fast currents will deliver rafts of illegal immigrants to Florida shores several hours early.

Black actress KiKi Layne said she and fellow person-of-color actor Ari’el Stachel had significant roles in the new film Don’t Worry Darling, but much of their work was cut. Director Olivia Wilde said she saved the footage for a possible sequel, Don’t Worry Shawty.

The cousin of one of Jeffrey Dahmer’s victims is angry at the Netflix dramatization of Dahmer’s killings, saying it’s dredged up painful memories, or ‘cannibal reflux’.

Philadelphia Mayor Jim Kenney signed an executive order banning guns in Philly recreation spaces. Players will have to figure out a new way to punish the losing team in pickup basketball games.

800 competitors entered Florida’s Python Hunt – a months-long effort to rid the Everglades of invasive Burmese pythons. No word on how it’s going, other than the competitors list is down to 792 since the pythons won some battles.

Dr. Umberto Tozzi, a cosmetic surgeon specializing in vaginal reconstruction, or labiaplasty, explained to NeedToKnow Online why he’s performed over 300 of the surgeries – his 50% off coupons.

Families of children are warring with Pickleball players who set up DIY courts in New York City playgrounds, interfering with their kids space and playtime. Pickleballers are fighting back to regain their turf by joining the PickleCrips.

Newly-activated Russian soldiers from Vladimir Putin’s draft are immediately surrendering to their Ukrainian counterparts after deployment. It’s so bad, Emmanuel Macron issued a statement denying that France is training the Russian army.

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Hooters servers are complaining about the chain’s new uniforms, saying the black shorts are ‘more like underwear’ and result in near-constant wedgies. A Hooters spokesperson said of the complaints “that’s sort of the point”.

Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker proposed to Kourtney Kardashian. Kardashian said yes after consulting with producers, and will get around to telling her three kids.

Actress Jessica Chastain agreed to nude scenes in HBO’s ‘Scenes From A Marriage’, provided her co-star Oscar Isaac “show the same” as her. Critics and viewers both expressed their disappointment with Oscar Isaac’s boobs.

A University of Wisconsin study showed mice placed on intermittent fasting diets lived longer – compared to mice given a diet of peanut butter, who died prematurely from a spring loaded steel bar breaking their necks.

The January 6th Commission is expected to vote on criminal contempt charges for Steve Bannon, leading to his arrest. Right now police are trying to find handcuffs with a chain long enough to reach around his belly.

Evander Kane of the NHL San Jose Sharks has been suspended for 21 games for submitting a fake COVID-19 vaccination card. Officials determined the card’s Johnson & Johnson vaccine certification was actually the sticker off a baby shampoo bottle.

Kidnappers in Haiti are demanding $17 million to free American & Canadian missionaries held hostage. Their churches say they have the ransom, they just can’t find anyone willing to go to Haiti to drop it off.

Federal agents reportedly ambushed Severin Beckwith – a Brian Laundrie look-alike -while Beckwith hiked the Appalachian Trail. Feds realized their mistake and released Beckwith, who resumed burying the girlfriend he’d murdered.

A new People magazine article on the late Mary Kay Latourneau claims she had regrets over her affair with a 12-year-old boy – mainly because there was a 13-year-old she had her eye on.

Megan Thee Stallion shared a photo commemorating her one-year anniversary with boyfriend Pardi Fontaine. Megan holds a cocktail glass between her buttocks as Fontaine sips it with a straw. She then twerked, leading to Fontaine requiring ten stitches to close the cuts.

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Caitlyn Parker, 29, wed 41-year-old radio star and American Idol mentor Bobby Bones, then jumped them later that night.

Right-wing student group Turning Point USA gave ‘Adult VIP’ status to porn star Brandi Love to attend their conference, then revoked it amidst mounting pressure from conservatives. Love was there to promote her latest video, ‘Mounting Pressure’.

Three people reportedly died of carbon monoxide poisoning inside a trailer at a country music festival in Michigan. Country singers plan to memorialize the victims, just as soon as they can find a word that rhymes with ‘monoxide’.

Megan Thee Stallion is the first rapper to appear on the cover of Sports Illustrated‘s swimsuit issue. The decision was announced once the magazine found a way to make the cover an inch wider.

Ticket sales for Marvel’s ‘Black Widow’ dropped 67% in its second week, as theater owners complained that home rentals on Disney+ hurt attendance, and that they’ll have to store $10 buckets of popcorn until Xmas movie season.

New research suggests cognitively stimulating activities can delay Alzheimer’s symptoms by up to five years. As a result, researchers suggest watching Jeopardy! instead of Wheel Of Fortune.

CNN announced the launch of streaming service CNN+, so people can now angrily shut off computers & streaming devices in addition to cable boxes.

A fisherman caught and photographed a rare blue lobster, then tossed it back in the ocean so that it can hopefully get laid.

The Tokyo Olympic Village furnished athletes quarters with cardboard beds, supposedly to discourage sex. There are questions as to whether or not they’ll work, since some athletes are complaining their room smells like sweat and wet cardboard.

Disney Parks unveiled changes to its Jungle Cruise ride to eliminate racist cultural depictions. They say if visitors still want to see & hear racism, they can listen to the Trump robot in the Hall Of Presidents.

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Life expectancy in the U.S. residents dropped by a full year, to 78 years, owing to the COVID-19 epidemic. It’s the biggest drop since McDonald’s started serving breakfast.

Scientists successfully cloned a black-footed ferret, a species extinct for 33 years. The ferret then put in a rush order to clone a female.

A Danish woman said she won’t shave her moustache or trim her unibrow to land a man – at least not until she gets through the pile of offers she has from other women.

Following Texas deep freeze and massive power outage, a 63-year-old man received a monthly utility bill over $16,000. Officials were stunned to learn he doesn’t have a wife.

Megan Thee Stallion plans to open an assisted living facility after she graduates from college: WAP – Wobbly Ass People.

The Supreme Court will allow a New York prosecutor to obtain Donald Trump’s tax returns. “How’s that even possible after I shredded them myself?!” asked a bewildered Eric Trump.

Following an engine explosion on a United Airlines’ Boeing 777 flight from Denver to Honolulu, Boeing is recommending air carriers suspend the use of some 777s – specifically, the ones with blown-up engines.

The engine explosion scattered debris on the ground in Denver suburbs – no one died, but several residents called their experience “the scariest yard sale ever”.

Daft Punk are retiring after 28 years – because one of them spilled coffee on the laptop that created & held all of their music.

37-year-old Scott Disick and his 19-year-old girlfriend Amelia Hamlin spent time over the weekend with Disick’s three children. Hamlin wore a special wristband so Disick wouldn’t get confused.


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A former New York restaurant hostess said in a TikTok video that Kylie Jenner left a $20 tip on a $500 dinner bill. Reached for comment, Kylie said it was because she was out of $1s and $5s .

Taco Bell is reportedly planning a massive overhaul of its menu, but assures customers that whatever they serve will still result in a massive overhaul to their bathroom.

Three teenagers fishing off the coast of Maine took nearly 7 hours to haul in a 700-pound bluefin tuna. They started a GoFundMe to raise money for enough firecrackers to blow it up.

A California teen is credited with inventing ‘Talking Masks’ – masks with a clear panel so deaf people can read their lips, and also tell them they have spinach in their teeth.

Nick Cannon apologized for anti-Semitic remarks he made on a podcast, and was subsequently confirmed to be keeping his job as host of The Masked Singer – which will be renamed The Masked Singers Who Probably Aren’t Jewish.

British Airways announced they’re retiring their entire fleet of Boeing 747s, but will allow pilots and flight attendants the opportunity to have one final shag in the first-class loo.

Smugglers attempted to ship cocaine from Colombia to Italy in coffee beans that had been sliced open and resealed. Italian cops arrested the man who picked up the package, then had the best goddamned coffee break ever.

Following a night of wild partying, recording artist Megan Thee Stallion was taken to a hospital with gunshot wounds in her foot. Doctors say she’s lucky the bullets didn’t break her leg, because they’d have to put Stallion down.

Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers and Danica Patrick have ended their two-year relationship, which ran out of gas.

Kanye West is reportedly still forging ahead with his presidential run, and Caitlyn Jenner wants to be his running mate. Jenner would become the first vice-president to declare their pronouns.

 

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Hip-hop star Megan Thee Stallion told Essence magazine about spending her first Christmas without her mother. Asked if she was sad, Thee Stallion clomped once for ‘yes’.

The last solar eclipse of the year, not visible in North America, was viewable via live streams and YouTube. It’s the first eclipse you had to skip ads to see.

The same-sex kiss in Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, was edited out for cinemas in Singapore. It was either that, or the gay couple had to accept their punishment being candy caned.

Steamboat Geyser in Yellowstone National Park broke a record, erupting 47 times in 2019. Steamboat thanked Geyagra.

According to the New England Journal of Medicine, eating in a 6-hour window and fasting for 18 hours may help you live longer, provided the 6 hours doesn’t include a stop at Checkers.

A newly married 26-year-old woman was charged with defrauding her 77-year-old husband, cashing checks for almost $1 million. On the same day, she was arraigned & held on bail, and her story was made into a Lifetime tv movie.

Leonardo Dicaprio’s mother is reportedly worried that if he remains noncomittal, Leo will drive model/girlfriend Camilla Morrone away. For his part, Leo is worried his model/girlfriend won’t take the hint.

Miley Cyrus settled her divorce from Liam Hemsworth on what would have been their 1-year anniversary. Appropriate, since the traditional First Anniversary gift is Paper.

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian gave their daughter North a coat once owned by Michael Jackson as a gift for her 6th birthday. They then rushed her to the ER after she ate the quaaludes she found in the pockets.

University of Memphis Athletic Director Laird Veitch wished his former head football coach Mike Norvell well in his new job at Florida State, telling FSU officials they “hit a home run”. Veitch added “I’m not good at sports metaphors.”