Thursday Jokes: June 18th

Brett Favre is charging $5000 for a 10-minute Zoom call via celebrity messaging service Cameo – or, $4000 if you’re a massage therapist and let him show you his penis.

The Trump Administration is suing to stop sales of a tell-all book from former National Security Adviser John Bolton, saying the book contains national security secrets. Although everyone could probably guess the Oval Office bathroom code is 1234.

A court found Shake Shack is not liable for three New York cops getting sick after eating there, saying most people are sick when they find out a cheeseburger and shake costs $17.

Amidst national protests and demands for police reform, many cops across the U.S. are quitting. Dunkin’ shares dropped 30% in early trading.

Google released special Pride Month ringtones for its Pixel mobile phones. So far, the most downloaded is “HEYYYY-ayyyyy’.

Quaker Foods announced a name change for Aunt Jemima products. The syrup will be offered in larger sizes to accommodate a label reading: ‘Your Black Mom’s Sister’s High-Fructose Imitation Maple Goo’.

American moms are saying kid-friendly all-white band The Wiggles need to diversify and add one or more minority members. The band has so far refused, saying racial integration is a Hot Potato.

‘That 70s Show’ actor Danny Masterson was arrested and charged with rape. “Way to go, dumbass” said Red Forman.

Lego launched interactive Super Mario playsets. The combined cost of all of them is nearly $600, leading Mario to complain about having to collect that many coins.

After a two-year investigation, a 34-year old Idaho woman was arrested and charged with having sex with underage boys. A spokesman for the boys called it “two pretty great years.”

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