Tuesday Jokes: June 30th

Nicole Young filed for divorce from rap mogul Dr. Dre, her husband of 25 years, citing irreconcilable differences. She would not elaborate, saying it’s like this and like that and like this, and uh..

Over 200 members at a Planet Fitness in West Virginia may require 14 days of quarantine after COVID-19 infections were traced there. “Skip the gym for two weeks?? Oh no!!..” they said.

The Supreme Court blocked a Louisiana law that would have made it all but impossible for women to get an abortion in the state. Next up they’ll rule on a different Louisiana law prohibiting parents from telling their daughters where babies come from.

The Mississippi state legislature voted to redo the state’s flag, removing the Confederate battle symbol. No word on the new flag, but the committee is looking for someone real good at drawing pictures of guns.

Mossimo Giannulli and Lori Loughlin resigned their membership at the Bel Air Country Club, after other members complained that they’re now felons. Coincidentally, they paid a half million dollars to get in to Bel Air CC too.

Cirque du Soleil filed for bankruptcy.  Executives plan to continue operations, but say financial management will be a real high wire act.

Scientists at University of California – Davis doing protein research accidentally cured Parkinson’s disease symptoms in mice. The mice were briefly happy, but then got pissed off at the same scientists for giving them Parkinson’s to begin with.

26 National Hockey League players tested positive for COVID-19, risking the restart of the season. They’ll each self-isolate for two weeks, plus an additional two minutes for delay of game.

Broadway theaters will remain closed until January. Sensing an opportunity from people desperate to waste money on bloated song-and-dance routines, Universal raised the price of ‘Cats’ on Blu-ray to $99.

Amazon Prime Video introduced ‘Watch Party’, where you can view content together with people in other locations. So now you can tell someone in a totally different state to shut up because you can’t hear The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.


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