Friday Jokes: September 4th

Taco Bell is removing Mexican Pizza from their menu, as part of a broader strategy to eliminate oxymorons.

Dr. Dre’s wife Nicole Young is asking for $2 million per month in temporary spousal support during their divorce. She said she needs it to tide her over until the divorce is finalized and she gets $4 million a month.

Bill Belichick appears in a new ad for Subway sandwich shops. Meanwhile, New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft asks a judge not to release the video he shot at an Asian place.

McDonald’s is naming a value meal after rapper Travis Scott. It’s a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, fries, Sprite, and a barbecue dipping sauce. And you eat it with a girl you’re seeing behind Kylie Jenner’s back.

The LPGA women’s golf tour is allowing caddies to use carts for bags at the tournament in Rancho Mirage, California, where temperatures could reach 110 degrees. They can also use the cart to carry their golfer to the medical tent after their heat stroke.

Mikal Smith, son of University of Illinois football coach Lovie Smith, was arrested on charges of being a pimp. Like his dad, he offers young men full rides, but they’re not exactly scholarships.

Jeopardy! champion Ken Jennings is joining the show as a producer. Speculation is that he may take over for Alex Trebek, after they answer the question “What are…you paying me?”.

The FBI raided a Pennsylvania nursing home where hundreds caught coronavirus. “Put your hands up!” shouted agents. “I can’t!” said residents.

Two Beijing apartments owned by Jackie Chan have been seized and will be put up for auction. Chan and his family have reportedly been spun around, chopped, flipped, and finally kicked out.

A new study claims that 100 common drugs used to treat everything from colds to blood pressure carry a risk of memory problems. So don’t forget to take your pill – or, take your pill and forget.

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