Thursday Jokes: November 12th

Instagram made the first change to its home page in 10 years, making it easier on most users by simply adding a tab for Breasts.

Ring video doorbells were recalled for being a fire hazard. Dozens of Jehovah’s Witnesses were treated at emergency rooms for severely burned fingers.

Google Photos announced an end to unlimited free photo storage in 2021 – but they’re keeping an open mind for some nudes.

The Masters started Thursday in Augusta, Georgia. “Maybe I should go check on that Georgia recount” said Donald Trump.

Workers took several hours removing a nest of over 200 ‘murder hornet’ queens. The queens were removed, along with their dresses, heels, wigs and makeup.

The hearing-impaired community is voicing opposition to Joe Biden’s suggested sign-language name because of its similarity to the Crips gang sign. “I say keep it” said Biden, before puffing and passing a blunt to Vice President-elect Harris.

Facebook’s metric for ‘Violence & Incitement Trends’ is up 45%, due to the proliferation of pro-Trump and QAnon hashtags like #DraintheSwamp, #Trump2020, #WatchtheWater, and #McDelivery.

A Delaware woman was arrested for smashing an egg salad sandwich in the face of a 72-year-old female acquaintance. She faces charges of assault with a smelly disgusting weapon.

Amazon said its Alexa voice assistant will soon answer questions its users haven’t even asked yet — such as “who brought this ***king thing into the house?”

Following viral videos of the console supposedly billowing smoke, Microsoft warned users of the new Xbox Series X “not to blow vape smoke into your Xbox”. Apparently cannabis vapor makes it really hard for Halo’s Master Chief to shoot while wasted.

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