Thursday Jokes: December 31st

Happy New Year! Thanks For Reading!

Weekly unemployment claims fell for the second consecutive week, but do not yet reflect massive layoffs expected at the North Pole.

Donald Trump plans to return to Washington and skip the annual Mar-A-Lago New Year’s Eve party, once he found out a bunch of Health Department narcs are shutting down tongue-kissing at midnight.

The minimum wage will increase in over 20 states in 2021. Shares of Gold Tipped Walking Sticks Incorporated are up in early trading.

A Wisconsin healh-care worker intentionally ruined hundreds of COVID-19 vaccines by removing them from a refrigerator. Even worse, he later microwaved the curried salmon he’d made room for in the fridge.

All-time Jeopardy! great Ken Jennings apologized for past insensitive tweets, but Daily Doubled down on some others.

Joe & Jill Biden will ring in 2021 as part of New Year’s Rockin Eve. Ryan Seacrest hosts, and will be in charge of waking Joe up at 11:45.

Samuel Little, believed to be the U.S.’ most prolific serial killer, died in a California prison at age 80. Little now begins the second of his three life sentences.

COVID-19 restrictions forced the move of the Rose Bowl to Texas, where it will be the Yellow Rose Bowl.

After multiple COVID outbreaks, the White House is being deep-cleaned at a taxpayer cost of $127,000. And it still smells like french fries.

Amazon is acquiring podcast producer Wondery, and starting a new podcast, ‘I Wondery Where My Package Is?’.

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